Review: The Egyptologist: A Novel

In 1980, my dad took me and my sister to San Francisco to see the King Tut exhibit at the DeYoung museum. This was historical for two reasons: 1) This exhibit marked the last time that King Tut's original treasures would be seen in the US until 2005, and 2), my sister and I got to play hookey from school. I'll let you figure out which was more exciting to me.

Actually, even as an 8-year-old, seeing that exhibit was thrilling. I knew I was looking at something very important. I didn't understand what an 18th-dynasty pharaoh was, or where the Valley of the Kings was...but I did know three things: I knew that stuff was really OLD, I knew that stuff was really PRETTY, and I knew that stuff had ORGANS in them. (And if you think that an 8-year-old doesn't know what "embalming" means...they will after seeing that exhibit.)

My dad bought a book in the gift shop and I read that book from cover to cover whenever it was raining outside or I didn't have any library books handy. I daydreamed about being an archeologist like Howard Carter and moving to Egypt with my trusty shovel.

This little trip down memory lane is a very long and convoluted way of telling you that I have a long love affair with Egyptian history and The Egyptologist: A Novel, by Arthur Phillips was a really, really fun read.

Phillips weaves fiction with fact as the story centers around the search for a missing 18th-dynasty pharaoh named Atum-hadu ("Atum is aroused") at the same time that Howard Carter is searching for King Tutankhamun, in 1922. The intertwining storyline is told from the perspectives of Ralph Trilipush, an archeologist with dubious credentials searching for Atum-hadu; Harold Ferrell, an private detective with a lot of questions about a missing and possibly murdered Australian; and Margaret Finneran, a bored Boston socialite engaged to Trilipush and whose father is the financial backer of the archeological dig.

The Valley of the Kings is the backdrop for much of the story where Trilipush finds what he believes to be the tomb of missing pharoah. He documents his findings through the tomb, along with some poetry of the slightly perverted and sex-obsessed pharoah's last days in power.

Trilipush, Ferrell and Finneran prove to be an extremely unreliable cast of characters, as we learn through their diaries, letters and telegrams to each other (the book is written 100 percent through journals and correspondence). It's a cool narrative technique because it allows the reader to figure out who is lying about what. To be honest, I figured out the plot twist pretty early on, but I'm pretty sure that was the author's intent, because it was interesting to figure out how the inevitable was going to occur.

The quest for immortality was pervasive in Egyptian culture and 3500 years later, the cast of characters in this book all strive for it in their own sad and destructive ways.

This book was a lot of fun, if a tad bit long. Enjoy!

Reading in a Winter Wonderland

When in Tahoe.....and it's snowing so hard you can't go anywhere.....and no one brought any movies......there really is only one thing to read.

oh, the HORROR

I just realized, in reviewing my previous post, that in INCORRECTLY called myself 34.

Dude, I'm 33. For 4 more months.

And don't you forget it.

for my friend Ronda

Note: It’s spelled without an “h”. (Sorry, it’s a private joke, but Ronda Without An H is the only person reading my blog and I feel I owe her something.)

Ok, I haven’t posted in a while because I’m actually reading three books right now, which is just not efficient. I realize this and I intend to change my ADD ways.

And here is my review of: "Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen".

Here’s the premise: It’s an autobiographical account of 29-year-old Julie Powell, a depressed NYC temp in the months following the September 11 attacks. Powell attempts to find some meaning in her life by embarking on an experiment to cook all 524 recipes in Julia Child’s "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" in one year…..in her tiny Long Island City apartment. She captured her experience in a widely-read blog back in 2002.

Now, I didn’t hate this book, but I was not at all impressed by it either. Personally, I believe that a blog does not a book make.

I actually really enjoyed all her accounts of the actual cooking of the recipes. Her discussion of lobster genocide in Long Island City was hysterical. Her accounts of sending her husband and friends traipsing through the far reaches of Queens to find beef marrow were totally compelling. And there is a very amusing chapter on conquering her fear of eggs.

However, the actual accounting her success (and non-successes) in the kitchen were few and far between her inappropriate reactions to EVERYTHING. I mean, everything from washing dishes to answering the phone to obsessing about her 30th birthday. She panicked and whined and cried about all of these things.

If I’m going to be honest, I couldn’t stand the author. I’m sure she didn’t mean to portray herself as an ego-centric head case, who tortures her conveniently long suffering husband and her formulaic eccentric friends with constant temper tantrums and panic attacks (Including throwing a shoe at her doctor’s office), but she did.

I wanted to like her. I did. I gave her a chance, particularly because she is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, as I am. However, I began to feel resentment that she parlayed her whining into a paid writing gig. Maybe I’m jealous b/c I would love to be a stay-at-home writer and I haven't figured out how to use my 33-year-old angst to my advantage.

But here is the thing. Powell, although quite intelligent and humorous, cannot WRITE. I mean, I started dog-earring the pages where she could not decide whether to write in present tense or past tense. That is my PET PEEVE. Pick a tense. Stay with it.

And at the end of the day, I was waiting for a lesson learned. For an “A-HA!” moment. Actually, I learned nothing.

I learned that Powell believes cooking is sensual.

And that she drove to the Julia Child exhibit at the Smithsonian museum in DC to leave a stick of butter in homage to the chef. And that she had whined and bitched to her husband the entire way there.

my life is complete

Seriously, Tim Gunn rox my world.

books I seriously couldn't put down

Ok, this is the first in my series of “Books I……”

I’m going to put the disclaimer right out there that some of these books are Oprah Books. There I said it. Also, some of these books might not have ever won any sort of award, but they did cause this reader to experience some sort of emotion that causes her to keep them in her bookcase when she should really sell them to make room for more books.

And now, without further adieu……

I Know this Much is True – I love books about twins. I love books about mentally ill people. I love books about small town, blue collar America. I love books with a rich family history. I love books that weave in and out of the past and present. And this book has all of that. It also has one of the most shocking opening few pages I have ever read. Don’t be put off by its almost 900 pages. I stopped talking to my friends and family for about 2 weeks while I read this book about 8 years ago. I still love it and would read it again.

The Secret History - Think coked out college roommates. Think murder mystery. Think peer pressure. Think ancient Greek lessons. Think bizarre fraternity rituals. This page turner centered arouund a set of college friends at an East Coast ivy-league college school. They kill one of their classmates in a bizarre ritual and set to work at covering their tracks. This book was awesome. Don’t read the reviews on Amazon. I loved it. I read this book New Year’s Eve Weekend in Tahoe and came up for air only at midnight to drink an obligatory glass of champagne.

Nickel and Dimed: On Not Getting Buy in America - The writer spends a year trying to survive on wages earned in jobs such as housecleaning, waiting tables and at Wal-Mart. It wasn’t particularly ground-breaking material. Clearly, it’s impossible to survive on $7.50 an hour. There were a lot of incompetent bosses attempting to exert power over subservient employees. However, I was very touched by the men and women the author worked with and I thought their stories were much more interesting than her experiment.

As a result, I immediately began emptying my own recycling at work in my personal effort to make the job easier for the housecleaning department at my office.

The Time Traveler’s Wife - I know, I know. There are a lot of other books about time traveling that I should be reading. All my friends who are fans of science fiction tell me this. However, I’m not a sci fi fan…..so this book was right up my alley. The book’s protagonist is a librarian who suffers from a disease which causes him to time travel without any warning. During his travels into the past, he meets a 6-year-old girl who later becomes his wife, who has known him all her life when they first meet in the present (get it?). The challenges the time traveler and his wife face were so interesting (how long would he be gone when he was traveling? Would he be able to get money and clothes since he traveled naked? Would he be back by the weekend? Would their child be a time traveler?). I highly suggest this book for book clubs.

Ok, that's it for now. My next post will be "Books I'm Embarrassed to Love So Much"

Enjoy!

It's like Christmas in March

Ahhhhh, Amazon.

My Amazon package came yesterday which brightened my otherwise dismal work day. I am making a promise to you, dear readers (and really, there are only two of you…..Ronda and Ryan), NOT to discuss my job, b/c this blog could easily become a rant against my place of employment. I fear termination too much and I would hate to lose my 5 weeks of PTO a year.

Like, I said, I LOVE Amazon delivery days. It’s like my birthday, except I know exactly what I’m getting AND I paid for it, so, it’s really not like my birthday at all.

I just received 2 books, “Housekeeping”, and “Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen”.

I’m TOTALLY excited to read the latter. My boss Kenneth told me about it a few months ago and my interest was piqued because my boyfriend and I are trying to explore cooking a little more…..but our kitchen is the size of a shoebox. We can’t both stand in the kitchen at the same time or I get very cranky. I can't image trying to create a Julia Child's recipe in my kitchen, so I hope I will be inspired. I think my boyfriend is getting tired of taco salad, turkey meatballs and chicken parmesan....which are really the only meals I know how to make, and I can't even claim I cook them well.

Anyway, the book comes highly recommended from Kenneth, a foodie and gourmet cook and fellow “Top Chef” fan. He makes salsa from scratch, so I consider him a good reference.

I’ll let you know if I learn how to make crepes, dear readers.

Lists, lists, lists.

I LOVE lists. I love making them and crossing things off of them. Sometimes at work, I make a list of things I have already done, just so I can cross things off and feel accomplished.

I get really frustrated when I pick up a List of the Best books, and I can only cross off about 10.

So, here at Reading is Sexy, I'm putting together my own lists.......lists that I KNOW I can cross books off of, such as:

• Books everyone loved and I hated
• Books I'm ashamed to admit that I love so much
• Books that made me stop talking to my friends and family until I was finished
• Books that my book club loved
• Books that my book club hated
• Books that make me want to quit my job and travel around the world
• Books to read when you are going through a break-up

Any other suggestions?

READING: Tim Gunn's blog

I love him. I really do.

And as much as I loved Santino.....I thought that Chloe's line was lovely. Minus the shrugs.

Tim's Take

"What happened to Andrae?"

READING: Auschwitz - A new History

Picked up this book b/c I saw an interview with the author on the BBC. It's written by the Director of History Programming for the BBC......Laurence Rees.

I think it's going to be along the lines of The Rape of Nanking in terms of how I'm going to feel while reading it. I had to read Bridget Jones Diary after that one. Twice.

I've had a morbid fascination with the Holocaust ever since I was in 4th grade, when I read the Diary of Anne Frank. I read a lot about it since then.....just trying to understand.

I don't think I'll learn anything that will shed some light, nothing ever will, but the interesting thing about this book is that Rees was able to interview a lot of Nazi's who are now dead. Apparently, their increasing age loosened their tongues a bit and the interviews are supposed to be quite remarkable.

what's the first rule of book club?

Bring exact change for the pizza delivery guy…….. That was my book club’s first rule, anyway.

I was in a book club for a really long time. Five years with the same group of women, give a take a few new and retired members here and there. We met one Monday night a month, pretty faithfully, taking breaks only during the holiday season.

Some of the women were close friends and some were women I didn’t know at all except for one night a month. But I would REALLY look forward to catching up with these women to hear about their jobs, their relationships, their trips to Burning Man….and to hear their opinions about the book.

I jokingly referred to my book club as the Worst Book Club Ever because it was rare that we spent more than 45 minutes actually discussing the book. We would most likely sidebar (Yes, I just used sidebar as a verb and I like it so I’m using it) our way into sex, reality TV, sex, food, relationships, sex and Hollywood gossip. And sex. Did I mention sex? And we always had more than a few bottles of wine to drink.

In fact, we got so lackadaisical that we instituted a rule that we only had to read 75 percent of the book in order to attend.

Sadly, we all just became really busy with life and living it. One member got married. Another member got married AND had a baby. A member moved to DC to go to law school. I got very busy with a project at work. And so on. So we disbanded, which seemed like the right thing to do.

In 5 years, we went through promotions, lay-offs, break-ups, marriages, pregnancies, purchasing homes, sick parents and A LOT of wine together. So what if we weren’t the most disciplined in our approach to Book Clubbing? We had a great time together and if a book was the catalyst for that, then I say BRAVO.

I remember one night we were discussing “Shadow of the Moon.” I had just broken up with my long-term boyfriend and I was constantly on the verge of tears. One book club member gave me the following advice to moving on from this man: “Just get up every morning, look in mirror and tell yourself……I’m fucking FABULOUS.” It didn’t necessarily make things any easier, but it made me laugh then and it makes me laugh now. I don’t remember a damn thing about that book, but I do remember that conversation.

Every night as I sit on the sofa and look at my bookcase, I see certain books that remind me of Molly, Christine, Lucinda, Ann, Christina, Melissa, Cynthia, Krystn, Denise, Nicole, Stephanie and Alicia (and a lot of other amazing women who drifted in and out) and I smile at the memories.

I miss you, book club.

Review: Daughter of Fortune

As I mentioned earlier, I was really hesitant to read “Daughter of Fortune”, by Isabel Allende. My reasons are all equally lame. I didn’t like the cover. It was too expensive. It had an Oprah Book Club imprint on it. The last reason, and the real reason I didn’t want to read it was b/c I didn’t like the movie version of “The House of the Spirits” and I was convinced I didn’t like Allende’s work.

That’s right. I wouldn’t read anything based on a movie. That I saw in college. Twelve years ago. When I was drunk.

I’m happy to report that I’m an Allende Convert. I just did a little Google…..did you know she lives in the US and speaks perfect English, but writes ONLY in Spanish? Did you know her uncle was Salvador Allende, former president of Chile, who was murdered in a coup? Did you know that she doesn’t write any outlines for her books, she just takes notes on random pieces of paper, tickets stubs, napkins, etc., and spreads them all on a table and then writes her drafts from beginning to end?

I think that is amazing, considering how complex and convoluted the degrees of separation between the characters in Daughter of Fortune.

Long story short, and without giving away the ending…….Eliza is the adopted Chilean daughter of Miss Rose Sommers and her two brothers John and Jeremy, three English immigrants living in Valparaiso, Chile in the mid-19th century. Actually, Eliza wasn’t officially adopted, she was left on the Sommers’ front step when she was just days old and the family raised her as a European young woman.

At 16, Eliza has an affair with Joaquin Andieta, an employee at her uncle’s company. Andieta, however, has dreams of panning for gold in California and boards a ship destined for San Francisco, leaving Eliza heartbroken. Soon after, Eliza realizes she is pregnant and, enlisting the help of a Chinese cook named Tao Chi ‘En, stows away in the ships hull for two months so she can join Andieta in California. Eliza and Tao (who is actually a physician) develop an unlikely and deep friendship. (Chinese and Chileans did not normally mix and mingle).

Upon reaching San Francisco, Eliza treks up the California “mother lode” from San Francisco to Sacramento, in search of Andieta. Along the way, she poses as a Chinese boy and befriends a traveling brothel, who becomes her temporary family.

Andieta proves elusive and after a while, Eliza returns to San Francisco to her friend Tao and becomes his roommate, his best friend and his assistant in his practice, while still posing as a boy.

…..And that is just about half of the story. Characters are introduced and surface in the most unlikely places several years later. Everyone is connected in the most strange and bizarre ways. In addition, Allende describes the Gold Rush in a way that most history books do not, from the eyes of the Chileans, the Mexicans, the Chinese, the prostitutes and the madams who all immigrated to California to get rich quick or die trying.

I highly recommend this book for book clubs. I could talk about this book for days.

i totally judge a book by its cover.

My biggest problem when I go to the book store is that I have very specific criteria that need to be met before I purchase a book.

1. It has to be paperback (b/c I read on the bus and hardcovers are just to0 heavy to carry around).
2. It has to be less than $15 (Suze Orman said that buying books new is one of the biggest wastes of money, but I simply cannot help myself when I walk past a Books, Inc.).
3. It cannot have an Oprah's Book Club sticker on it (Did you know they are actually PRINTING the stickers on the book cover now? You can't peel those suckers off anymore.)
4. It has to have a cool cover (Yes, I know. But I like a cool cover, ok?)

Well, I broke my 3 of my own rules recently. A couple weeks ago, I was standing in an airport bookstore getting ready to hop on a plane for Costa Rica. I needed a good beach read and my friend Denise told me I should buy "Daughter of Fortune" by Isabel Allende. Actually, "told" me is putting it mildly. She put it in my hand and said, "You HAVE to read my favorite book. Read it! DO it. You'll love it. I swear."

Ok, the book was $17 (rule 2), it had a big ol' Oprah seal of approval on it (rule 3) and I HATED the cover (rule 4). It's this cheesy picture of a woman who looks suspiciously like Catherine Zeta Jones and I have a thing against CZJ, I really do. It could be b/c I think she is stunning, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I think she seems like a real bitch in interviews.

So, against my better judgment (and the fact that I needed to catch my flight.....and the fact that she was was very forceful and was kinda scaring me), I bought it.

And. I. Seriously. Love. It. A review will certainly follow as soon as I finish.

So, thanks Denise, for making me break all my own rules.

Anorexia is so 1987, Heather

Ok, so it has nothing to do with reading, but my boyfriend and are I watching Heathers right now. This movie is just brilliant. Ok, maybe not brilliant, but what other movie can you spontaneously quote like this?

• "Heather, what's your damage?"
• "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!"
• "You're a girl scout cookie!"
• "BQ!"
• "Heather, why are you such a megabitch?" "Because I can be."
• "God Veronica, my afterlife is SO boring."

I highly suggest you rent this movie this again. For the fashion ALONE. A couple of Winona Ryder's outfits still hold up ......last year Gap sold a cordoroy jacket that looks A LOT like the one Veronica wears in the boiler room before she shot off Christian Slater's finger.

The "Best" Books

I was in the mood to pat myself on the back a little about how many books I have read in my life. If I had to guess, I am sure I have read well over a 1000 books. You know, not to toot my own horn, but I consider myself "well-read."

So, I googled. And I'm humbled. And, frankly, annoyed.

Last year, Time magazine put together a list of the 100 best novels from 1923 to 2005. (Why they started in 1923, I'm not quite sure, but apprently, there were no good books before 1923.)

• What's humbling about this list: I have only read 10. (And if we are going to be honest here.....I only finished seven of them.)
• What's annoying about this list: Only 19 books were written by women.

Modern Library put together this list in 1998.

• What's humbling about this list: I have only read 7.
• What's annoying about this list: Only 11 books were written by women. (And none of them were Jane Austen, which hurts me. Why are they trying to hurt my feelings?)

And I haven't even gotten to the Pulitzer lists. I think I'm going to have to put my OWN list of Best Books together. More to come.......

now is the time to live your ideal life

I love that quote. Cousineau said it. It's printed on a magnet that I have up in my cube at work and every day it dares me to do something that i have been wanting to do for a while.....create a blog.

This is my first ever entry in my first ever blog.

I read A LOT of blogs. I'm obsessed with celebrity gossip blogs and I don't know why. I should not be obsessed with Brangelina. In fact, I shouldn't have even written the word Brangelina. That is totally asinine. WHY do I care about if Lindsay Lohan's boob fell out of her dress? WHY do I care about how much weight Jared Leto has gained for some movie about a serial killer that probably shouldn't even be made b/c there are just too many movies being made about serial killers that are fictional and do we really need to watch an entire movie about a readl serial killer?

I have just spend the past hour emailing with my close friend (we'll call her Hot Mom, b/c she totally is.....a hot mom) about why she and I read these celebrity gossip magazines and blogs and shows on a FANATICAL basis.

I have no answer. But I do know this: They are sucking the intelligence out of me. So.....this blog will be about something that I love to do that ISN'T sucking the intelligence out of me. Reading.

I'm not sure if this will be a place where I review books, or just make lists of books I want to read, or have my friends talk about their favorite books. I have a feeling it's all going to sort itself out.