Conversations between 2 sisters

Below is a summary of several conversations between my sister and I over the past week.

Wednesday:

Me: I think I’ll drive 2 hours to your house on Saturday night so you can get out of the house. You need a night out away from the kids.
My sister: Please come! I need a night off! Let's go out to dinner! Let's drink some wine!

Saturday night:

Me: Sigh, going out seems like a lot of work. I kinda just want to stay in and hang out your kids.
My sister: Yeah, I really just want to knit tonight. I am thinking about knitting a shawl.
Me: What's more, I have the new “Everyday Italian” cookbook I kinda want to read. You know the one about family dinners?
My sister: OH! I have been dying to read that one! Break it out!”

Ok, so I have taken some poetic license with our dialogue here, but I think it accurately depicts just how very OLD my sister and I are getting.

We did, however, drink some wine and talk about sex, so there is that.

REVIEW: Garlic and Sapphires

I give Garlic and Sapphires, by Ruth Reichl, former food critic for both the LA Times and the New York Times and now the editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine, 2 solid thumbs up. The author writes of her tenure at the New York Times when she was forced to dine about town in costume under false names in an attempt to receive unbiased service from chefs and their staff.

When I first picked up the book, I was a little leery. I mean, how interesting can it be to read a review for restaurants in New York City, when I don’t live in New York City? Well, Reichl proves to be a great story teller, as well as critic. The story follows Reichl as she moves from LA to New York with her husband and young son and creates her alter egos (including Miriam, a mirror image of her mother who sends every entrée back until it’s perfect). During the course of 4-5 years, she falls in love with New York again, loses a good friend to cancer and agonizes over glorifying the “$100 meal,” before making the realization that her alter egos were affecting her relationship with her husband, her child and, ultimately, to food.

I highly recommend this book if you enjoy food or restaurants or New York or all three. Also, an added bonus is that Reichl has published her own favorite go-to recipes. I am going to try her roasted chicken immediately.

An open letter to Britney Spears' Best Friend

Dear Best Friend of Britney Spears (BFOBS)

First off, let me state that I know your job is hard and I don’t envy you. She’s tough. First there was the whole unfortunate cheating on Sweet Justin debacle, then there was the whole “Madonna is my best friend, not you” incident, THEN there was the time she made you wear a pink terrycloth tracksuit at her bachelorette party with the word “MAID” on it, like you are her personal servant or something……..and I won’t even start on Kevin because I know that you are tired of him trying to get in your pants and it’s a bit of a sticky subject.

Now, I realize you are tired, and I would be too if I had your daily routine of ensuring that: 1) she is at least semi-dressed when she leaves the house, 2) she is always within walking distance of a 711 so that when she and KFed have ANOTHER argument about the Las Vegas hookers who keep dropping by during Sean P’s naps, she has an inexhaustible supply of Doritos and Big Gulps on hand, 3) Sean P is always safely secured in his car seat and high chair (good idea hiring that Manny, by the way. It’s always best to admit to your own limitations).

But really. Matt Lauer. Was at her house. Matt FREAKIN’ Lauer was at her house and you didn’t perform a major intervention when you saw her? Now here, BFOBS, you have completely fallen down on the job.

I know you were probably too busy trying to move all of Kevin’s belongings upstairs from the basement to make it looks like they were actually still speaking to each other, so I have created a small check list of To-Do’s the next time Matt comes to the door.

1. Britney’s fake hair should appear to have been washed within the last week.
2. Britney’s face should appear to have been washed within the last week.
3. Britney should not be chewing gum.
4. Britney’s fake lashes should not resemble an attack tarantula.
5. Britney should not be wearing a skirt so short she is flashing Matt.
6. Britney’s engorged breasts should not be trying to escape the confines of a shirt that she wore 5 years ago.
7. Britney should not be wearing platform Payless ShoeSource slides.
8. Britney should sit up straight.
9. Britney should know how pregnant she is when asked.
10. Britney should not say “I like money.” Ever.

I think might help. I have some other suggestions, mostly to do with possibly getting her high school diploma, moving out of LA to raise her children, and leaving that rat bastard KFed, but for the time being, let’s stick to the above, because I know you have your hands full.

Best,

Kirsten

Whew. I’m 34.

Birthday bash was last night and I’m still reeling from the amount of wine I drank on a fairly empty stomach. Perhaps 34 will be the year that I learn how to drink without getting hammered?

Speaking of learning, here is a list of things I learned in my 33rd year:

1. I learned that dating is supposed to be fun, not hard.
2. I learned what loving the right person feels like.
3. I learned what being loved by the right person feels like.
4. I learned how cook a mean chicken parmesan and chicken marsala.
5. I learned that I really enjoy cooking after all.
6. I learned that I don’t have to be “passionate” about my career, that I can just “like my job.”
7. I learned that eating less and working out more……really works. Huh.
8. I learned that I had an Ebay addiction.
9. I learned that I do indeed want kids.
10. I learned that my life became very clear when I met Boyfriend.

Get thee to the gyno

As my 34th birthday ominously looms, I'm too old for this, but speaking as a woman who has had many painful procedures as a result of HPV, I implore everyone with a daughter to start talking about this with their gynocologists.

Graceful

I would like to either study whatever philosophy this man studies.....or I would like whatever drug he is on.

Either way, for a man who watched his son be murdered, I admire his spirit.

Pure unadulterated evil

It is wrong that I wish Anne Coulter physical harm? Can I even write that?

Although, if she can write this fucking bullshit, I think I should be allowed to say that I wish her an afterlife full of painful, burning hell.

it's been a while

Sorry so incommunicado lately, but:

1) I was on vacation to the Carolinas visiting Boyfriend's family. We had an awesome time; I ate my weight in boiled peanuts (who knew?), I played with Boyfriend's niece, I got a sunburn and I gained 6 pounds. It was lovely.

2)I also am feeling that post-vacation depression. Work is uninspired. I can't find a book to read. All my favoriate TV shows have wrapped for the season. My 34th birthday is coming up and I feel like I have 34 new grey hair and wrinkles. I feel blech.

HOWEVER! Lost Finale? What was UP with that huge Homer Simpson foot statue? And what? John Locke? CANNOT BE DEAD. I will go on record right here and right now that I will stop watching this show if they have killed my absolute favorite character. JJ Abrams? Do you hear me? I will stop watching AND I will campaign that all my friends should stop watching as well. Oh, and Desmond rocks my world. I love him.

Ok, that's all.

Oh, and this is my new favorite website.