Review: Sex with Kings

First, this book has a big old naked lady on the cover, so if you ride the bus or subway to work, you might want to consider some sort of book cover if you are prone to embarrasment, which I am not.

Second, if you are not prone to embarrassment, you MIGHT want to consider that in the middle of the book, there is a very large painting of two naked women pinching each other's breasts. I'm just saying.....be aware of that. Because I think the very old Russian women sitting next to me this morning might have had a heart attack.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way....my sister gave me this book as a birthday present because I think she wants to read it and didn't want to buy a book for herself with a naked lady on it because she is a minister and that would damage her rep. It's just a theory, but I think I'm on to something.

Also, both my sister and I have this thing for books about kings and queens. We have spent WAY too much time reading Philippa Gregory books about Henry VIII, Queen Elizabeth, etc.

So, here is what is pretty good about this book: There is A LOT of dirt. The author knows a lot about the sex lives of kings from Charles II to Prince Charles (I would really like to know how I can get a job researching the sex lives of kings, by the way). For instance, apparently Louis XIV had a very very VERY small penis. Oh, and the mistress of Henri II used to get him all hot and bothered before sending him off to his queen to try and get her pregnant. He would then come back to her bed after having sex with the queen.

This book is not so much of an biography of the mistresses, (although quite a bit of time is spent on Madame du Pompadour, who was the mistress of Louis XV for more than 15 years despite her being sexually frigid) but more of a commentary of the art of being a mistress to a king.

Mistresses went to unbelievable lengths to become mistresses, and then even more incredible effort was spent KEEPING the king. For instance, evidence pointed to Madame de Montspan, mistress to Louis XIV, of kidnapping infants to sacrifice in order to make potions and spells to maintain his love. Her garden unearthed hundreds of corpes of babies, but the king didn't want the scandal so he never had her charged with the murders.


What's bad about the book: It's UNBELIEVABLY disorganized. In fact, it was pretty clear to me that that author's editor was on vacation or something. The book could have (should have) been organized chronologically, but instead it jumps centuries and continents in the course of one page. I also could have a job aid to keep all the Louis's and Louise's and Charles and Fredericks's straight.

Anyway, sis......I think you'll be fine reading this book. Just don't show it to your congregation.

:)