"Please sir, can I have some more?"

Um, Malan from Taiwan, were you trying to be Oliver Twist? Huh. Well-played.

Readers, this season of Project Runway is already displeasing me. Now, I love a good reality TV fight as much as the next girl, but are you trying to tell me that Vincent has more vision, more point of view, more talent than Malan from Taiwan? Granted, Malan from Taiwan is a freak, and his accent is fake and he TOTALLY made up a story about his mother not believing he could be a designer…..but at least his horrid, poop-hued, quilted, nightmare of a dress was born out of a vision that required talent. Vincent’s dress was safe and boring and looked like anything I could pick up off the rack at Nordstrom.

Oh, Nina Garcia……you fickle pickle. First you don’t want “safe and boring” and then you apparently DO want safe and boring.

Here’s who I LOVE: Robert, (who WOULDN’T love a man who designs for Barbie Dolls AND has a sense of humor about it); Michael (his coffee filter dress was fantastic) and Bonnie (just because she is adorable, no other reason).

Here’s who I want to throttle: Jeffrey (grow up already, being cool is NOT THAT IMPORTANT ANYMORE); Keith Michael (Perhaps you should NOT grope Miss USA so inappropriately?) and Kayne (Is he AWARE that he looks exactly like Sid Vicious?).

And Tim Gunn, I missed you. So lovely to have you back in my life.