Out of Pocket

Don't you hate that term?

Sorry it's been so long gentle readers. I have been travelling for work for a bit, living at a Radisson Suites in lovely Rancho Bernardo, California. Never hear of it? Yeah, there's a reason for that.

I was away for a week learning how to train people in my company to become "Self Leaders", to use their "I Need" statements, to "Partner for Success" and to "Sell their Solutions". Despite the touchy-feely vernacular, it was actually a really amazing experience and probably one of the highlights of my career. I finally realized that I'm pretty good at training people and I just *might* help people.

Anyway, while I was away, my gramma took a bit of a turn for the worse. I don't talk about my gramma very much on this site, because it makes me very emotional. But my grandmother is one of my favorite people and I love her very very much. She's not your typical cranky gramma, she's always been so loving and funny and lucid and just so wonderful to be around.

After living with and being cared for by my parents for the last five years, we all faced facts that she needs more help than what my parents can give her. We made the decision, with her agreement, that it was time for her to move to an assisted living facility.

I am visiting my parents right now, trying to spend some time with my gramma as she gets used to living at her new home. I will be honest when I say that it's the hardest thing I have ever done, to witness her deteteriorating in front of my eyes and to see confusion cloud her eyes from time to time. She has never looked so old or frail before and it's heart-breaking.

Getting old is the most undignified process I think anyone could go through. For my grandmother to have to ask for help to brush her teeth or cut her food is just no way for her to live after raising children and grandchildren and being an active and valued member of her community at church and work and volunteerism.

It's horrible.