Reading is Sexy

I'm BACK!

2009-10-29T16:36:00.001-07:00

Wow. It’s been a long, long while since I started this blog and a long, long while since I have posted anything. In addition, my life has turned on a dime and my list of major life events consists of: having a baby, moving away from San Francisco, buying a house and ACCIDENTILY getting pregnant AGAIN.

Some things haven’t changed. I’m still reading (as much as I can with a 14-month old). I’m still watching far too much reality television. I’m still perfecting and honing my cooking skills. I’m still crazy for my husband. And now I’m just crazy for my daughter too.

I’d like to get this blog up and running again. I might have to modify content a little bit b/c although reading IS very sexy, there is nothing sexy about my life right now and I’m not really doing enough reading to justify calling this a book blog.

But blogging was a lot of fun and my friends got a little insight into slightly crazy head.

I’ll be talking to you all soon.

I left my heart in San Francisco

2008-07-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

I am an obsessively proud San Francisco resident. I love this town with the same vigor that New Yorkers love their town. I love the fog, the food, the hills, the Lyon Street steps, the parks, the beaches, the Gays, everything.

The day I drove my 1989 Nissan Sentra from Chico to San Francisco with my futon shoved in my back seat was the most excited I have ever been. After exiting the Bay Bridge to my tiny Nob Hill apartment, I: nearly ran over a very accentric prostitute in the Tenderloin; almost hit a cable car on California Street and; nearly killed my clutch trying to navigate my 5-speed up the hill. As I miraculously found parking a block away from my apartment (the one and only time that ever happened in Nob Hill), I took a deep breathe of the fog and realized that I was Home.

After 13 years here, my husband and I are facing the unpleasant truth that, although we are both still in love with this city, we can’t afford to buy a home here AND raise children here. We have a baby due in 5 weeks, so we are beginning the very unpleasant task of looking for a home in the DREADED East Bay.

To deal the depression of my inevitable departure from my favorite city, I decided to pick up the Tales of the City series again, written by Armistead Maupin. Set in San Francisco from the early 70s to the late 80s, the books chronicle the lives and adventures of the residents of 28 Barbary Lane: Mary Ann, Michael (aka Mouse), Mona, Brian and their all-knowing, pot-growing landlady, Mrs. Madrigal.

Maupin, a long time resident of San Francisco, was one of the first authors to write about AIDS in literature, and has an intimate knowledge of the city that reader/residents will recognize immeidately when reading these highly entertaining stories.

My next few entries will focus on the six volumes: Tales of the City, More Tales of the City, Further Tales of the City, Babycakes, Significant Others and Sure of You.

I do love a list.

2008-07-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

I picked up this list from Sarah at Reading, Writing and Musing. Here's how it works.

Look at the list, and:
Bold those you have read.
Italicize those you intend to read.
Underline the books you LOVE.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. 1984 - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (I have tried, I really have)
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving (again, I tried)
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt

81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92.The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

It's been a long while, hasn't it?

2008-04-01T17:34:00.000-07:00

All two of my readers must have missed me terribly.

Yeah, I lost a little bit of interest in reading and blogging for much of this winter. What can I say … getting pregnant takes a lot out of a girl.

A lot of things that I used to enjoy doing … eating, sleeping, cooking, reading, writing … have taken a back seat to crashing on the sofa every night after work willing myself to not throw up, while watching re-runs of the West Wing. I’m happy to say that as I’m approaching my 5th month of pregnancy, I’m starting to feel slightly more like myself …albeit a slightly puffier version of myself.

Dear readers, I must confess that I’m not a good pregnant person. Don’t get me wrong. Ryan and I are THRILLED to become parents. In fact, I think we established on our 3rd or 4th date that becoming parents was on the “short list” of things we wanted to do very soon. I can’t wait for my baby to be here, keeping me up all night (I’m up anyway) and spitting up all over me (I have too many t-shirts anyway).

But being pregnant? No thanks. Let’s see … constipation, constant fatigue, shortness of breath, gassiness, nausea, bloating, burping, hiccups, acne, mood swings, no appetite for anything but carbs, pelvic cramping, leg numbness, insomnia … these are just a few of the symptoms that I experience EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m already counting down the days until this little miracle gets here … and I’m only halfway through my pregnancy.

Why am I telling you all this, you ask? Because I need an outlet. I think my lovely husband is getting sick of hearing me complain and probably more than a little worried that I won’t ever do this again (I will). I don’t want to burden my friends and family with my constant whining, so I’m putting it out there in the Webosphere. For those of you who have been pregnant before, it's an all consuming thought process and I need to get it out of my head and onto paper ...so to speak.

So, my apologies to anyone who happens upon this site and finds themselves appalled by my whining. I'm appalled. I'm VERY lucky to have gotten pregnant so easily when I have friends who are trying so very hard to conceive. My sincere apologies to them as well.

And I’ll do my best to get some reviews up soon, because I fully intend to start reading again very soon.

Thanks.

I blog ...

2008-01-22T14:25:00.001-08:00

For a pro-choice America.

Review: The Memory Keeper's Daughter

2007-10-02T15:56:00.000-07:00

I actually read The Memory Keeper's Daughter, by Kim Edwards, a few weeks ago when I was travelling for work and completely forgot to review it.

I definitely wanted to cover this one because it was one of those rare books where I had to reschedule dinner plans so I could come home and finish the book. It probably wasn't the BEST book to read just days after having a miscarriage, because the first chapter is completely focused on childbirth, but the plot of this book just drew me in completely.

Here's the gist: David Henry assists his wife, Norah, as she gives birth to their first child in the middle of a snowstorm. The ob/gyn wasn't able to able to get to the hospital in time because of a snowstorm, so David, a physician, delivers his own child. David realizes that his wife is giving birth to twins. The first child, Paul, is healthy, but the second child, a girl named Phoebe, has Down's Syndrome.

The story is set in the early 60s, a time when Down's children rarely lived passed an early age, so David asked the nurse, Caroline, to take the girl to an institution and tells Norah the girl died. His goal was to save his wife the pain and humiliation he witnessed in his own experience with his mentally retarded sister.

Caroline takes the child, but is unable to abandon her and runs away with Phoebe to raise the child as her own.

However, David's knee jerk deception shapes the rest of all the lives involved for years to come. David withdraws from his marriage to deal with the guilt. Norah always feels the loss of a child who actually exists and pulls away from David. Paul, the remaining child witnesses his parents emotional separation from each other and is forced to choose sides, which most of the time was this mother's.

On the flip side, Caroline witnesses Phoebe grow much older and much happier than she would have imagined.

I won't spoil the ending, but this story was a very sweet and at times heart wrenching. I am always amazed when an author is able to write a book where every single character touches me somehow.

I heartily recommend this one.

"She is tolerable, I suppose"

2007-09-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, I am not sure if I have mentioned my intense LOVE affair with Jane Austen books and movies. I have seen Pride and Prejudice countless numbers of times. I have read Emma so many times I have certain passages memorized. And don’t even get me started on how many times my friend Ann and I have watched Colin Firth coming out of that pond in Pemberley dripping wet in that white, see-though shirt, and …. Oh, goodness, is it hot in here?

I LOVE Jane Austen.

Anyway, aforementioned friend Ann informed me there was a whole genre of Pride and Prejudice prequels and sequels (not written by Austen, of course) that I simply had to start reading. Why, you ask, would I want to read a book about Darcy and Elizabeth that was not written by Jane Austen, when I worship her every written word? Because there is SEX in them.

I’ve decided to start reading any and all derivations of Pride and Prejudice. The other Jane Austen freaks in the internet claim that I should start with the series written by Pam Aidan, starting with “An Assembly Such as This: A Novel of Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman.”

Where to start? First, I LOVED it.

The ONLY downside to Jane Austen novels is that because she was so intent on writing strong, yet often silly women, her leading men’s characters were often overlooked and therefore, mysterious. WHY was Darcy so proud? WHY was Darcy so arrogant? WHY did he fall so passionately in love with Elizabeth when his behavior indicated that she was “not handsome enough to tempt” him?

Aidan attempts to answer these many questions. Written from Darcy’s point of view, we learn that Darcy indeed had a sense of humor, that he and Mr. Bingley shared their disdain of Miss Bingley’s attraction to Darcy and that he had, in fact, a HUGE crush on Elizabeth.

It’s good ya’ll. Darcy is written as painfully shy, very human, afraid of rejection and still terribly worried about his younger’s sister obvious depression after Wickham’s thwarted attempt to elope with her. Some new characters in Darcy’s life are introduced, my favorite being his valet, Fletcher, who apparently schemes for ways to place Darcy and Elizabeth to interact with each other.

This is the first in a three part series. I’ll be soon reading part 2, Duty and Desire. The first in the series only takes us through ball that Bingley hosted and I'm anxious to read about Darcy and Elizabeth's time together in Kent, at his aunt's estate. That where the sparks really started to fly.

More to come.

Review: A Walk in the Woods

2007-09-06T17:59:00.001-07:00

If I could be anything in the world, I would be a skinny, talented chef with extremely thick hair and a good wardrobe. HOWEVER, since the world already has a Giada di Laurentis, my second dream career would be an extremely successful travel writer. Alas, the world already has a Bill Bryson as well. So, I guess I will have to continue my semi-successful career as a training program manager for a large retail company. Boo.

If you have a love for travel, or a love for humor, you must simply run to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy of a Bill Bryson book. My personal favorite thus far is In a Sunburned Country, but I truly enjoyed A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail as well.

In this book, Bryson and his college friend Katz, both middle-aged and out of shape, endeavor to hike the Appalachian Trail, which begins in Georgia and culminates in Maine.

The moral of most Bryson novels are, as the old saying goes, “it’s about the journey, not the destination.” The account of his Bryson’s actual hike takes a backseat to the cast of characters he encounters along the AT trail, as well as his newfound friendship with Katz, whom he hasn’t seen in more than 20 years. My favorite portions of the books were the passages of he and Katz attempting to get along and agree over how many Snickers bars to carry in their packs.

That’s not to say that the destination doesn’t feature heavily into the story. Bryson’s excellent research into the national parks services and conservancy is heavily featured in the book as well. We can be left with no doubt Bryson’s poor opinion about the shocking lack of governance in most of the major parks on the East coast.

I truly enjoyed about 80 percent of this book, but I will admit that the 20 percent of the book was a bit slow. Katz and Bryson decided not the hike the AT in entirely and each went their separate ways for a month or two. During this time, Bryson hiked through Pennsylvania on his own. During these stretches, the book dragged a bit, which suggests to me that Bryson didn’t realize that the strength of this book lies in his unusual relationship with Katz.

I’m a huge fan of walking in general and hiking in particular, and I’ve never had the chance to see any of the national parks on the East Coast. My interest in the Smoky Mountain and Shenandoah national parks has been piqued by this book. I highly recommend this book for a quick read, especially if you are interested in travel writing.

books (and vicadin) are good therapy

2007-09-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well, dear readers, I was hoping, in about two weeks to tell you my extremely exciting news that my husband and I were expecting our first baby as soon as I passed my first trimester. However, in what proved to be the worst weekend of my life, I had a miscarriage and Ryan and I are trying to figure out how to deal. It’s very strange how attached and invested a couple can become to a 10-week fetus. We are incredibly sad and depressed, but we are confident that this is just a temporary roadblock.

When I’m depressed, a few things happen: I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I like to exercise, I like to cook, I like to do laundry and I like to read. Well, since I am currently lying on the sofa under the influence of some awesome narcotics and I’m unable to exercise, do laundry, cook or sleep … it’s a good thing that my friends at Paperback Swap came to my rescue. Because I have THE BEST TBR pile sitting beside me and I don't have to go back to work until Monday.

I’m about halfway through the hysterical A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson, which is an absolutely fascinating account of his hike along the Appalachian Trail. (KK and Denise, you will have to read this one. Lots of great facts about parks conservancy.)

Next will be An Assembly Such as This, by Pamela Aidan. I am absolutely chomping at the bit to get started on this account of Pride and Prejudice from Mr. Darcy’s point of view. My love for all things Jane Austen knows no bounds. Tell me a story about a pianoforte and an assembly in Merryton and I’m THERE.

Third will be Entering Normal, by Anne D. Leclaire. I have NO idea what it’s about, but it got 5 stars on all 32 customer reviews on Amazon. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Next will be While I Was Gone, by Sue Miller. I LOVED The Good Mother, even though the movie sucked and I have high hopes for this one too.

Finally, I have the White Boned Demon which is universally agreed upon as the best biography written about Madame Mao. I’m really excited.

I will hopefully be providing some reviews quickly.

In search of a good book.

2007-08-29T17:20:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I have posted and with good reason. I simply have not been able to find a good book! I have started and stopped reading 3 different books in the past month or so, so I shall post about them, in the hopes that someone can 1) either convince me to keep reading, or 2) send me a good book recommendation.

First up, Becoming Madame Mao, by Anchee Min, started out with a bang. The story of Jiang Qing, aka Lan Ping, aka Madame Mao is written in the first person and begins with the an account of her attempted foot binding by her mother. The story flip flops between the present and the future Madame Mao as she began her career as a stage actress before becoming a member of the Communist party and her role in the Cultural Revolution.

I read Wild Swans a few years ago, and because I learned very little about Communist China in school, I was absolutely fascinated by Chairman and Madame Mao, which was why I picked up this book. However, I quickly became disappointed in this book. I was searching for insights into an incredibly manipulative and duplicitous woman who ordered the death and torture of many, many people who had “wronged” her in her previous lives.

However, what I found was an incredibly boring, superficial and hasty rendering of this character. I understand that Anchee Min, herself, lived through the Cultural Revolution, however, most of the Western World did not and I found the cryptic references to important events and characters in Chinese history completely confusing. I had to head to the internet several times to look up the names or people the author was writing about.

I never made it past 100 pages ….

Second to Bat …

I started The Voyage Home, by Jane Rodgers, because I really enjoyed Mr. Wroe’s Virgins. However, this book was DULLLLLLL. I would try to explain it, but I only got through 22 pages. Something about a boat ride and Africa?

Third up …. I, Elizabeth, by Rosalind Miles. Now, I have explained before that I’m somewhat obsessed with Tudor history and this piece of historical fiction about Queen Elizabeth’s rise to the throne was QUITE good. However, I left it out in the sun, the binding melted and all the pages started falling out. I read up to her coronation and would have kept reading if I could. I might possibly buy another copy, but I have vowed only to purchase used books in the future. If anyone has a copy, can we swap for another book?

Because I’ve been so unlucky in the reading department … has anyone read any fantastic books they can recommend?

Review Roundup

2007-07-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

I know I know! I haven’t been posting much, and it’s not even because I have been busy. It’s because I’m just plain lazy.

I mentioned before that I read a LOT on the honeymoon, but that was so long ago now that I can’t remember all the finer points of the books. So, I’m just going to give you a quick and dirty run down:

First up … Tender at the Bone, by Ruth Reichl. I read Reichl’s second book FIRST, Garlic and Sapphires. I really enjoyed that book …. However, I’m pretty much “feh” with her pseudo-memoir about growing up with a manic-depressive mother in the 60s. I’m sure that shaped her life, but I didn’t get how her relationship with her mother took her to a very well-respected place as food critic for the New York Times, which is why I picked up the book in the first place. Many of the characters were SO stereotypical (her grandmother’s sweet Jamaican housekeeper who taught her how to cook all the foods from the islands; for instance), I find it hard to believe that they ACTUALLY existed. If you want to read another Mother/Daughter relationship book, while Tender at the Bone IS well-written, I certainly wouldn’t recommend this one.

Second to bat … and speaking of the Mother/Daughter relationship genre … I read Amy and Isabelle poolside in Positano. (Was I really on my honeymoon only a short month ago?). I’m not a huge fan of this completely over-saturated genre, but I have to admit, I kinda like this one. Maybe because I swapped it at the hotel for Tender at the Bone and I didn’t invest any of my hard-earned moolah into it.

The nutshell: Amy (the daughter) and Isabelle (the mother) tenuously co-exist and work together one very hot summer following Amy’s short but intense affair with a substitute teacher at her school. The affair brings out the worst and best of both of the characters as they deal with some never discussed before family history. There were some very touching moments when the typically stand-offish Isabelle finds friendship and brings comfort to some very colorful and unlikely characters. It was a really quick read, it wasn’t predictable and it made me feel good when I finished it. Thumb’s up.

Third up … Atonement. Holy god, WHY have I never read an Ian McEwan book before? This book was fantastic. We were in London when I was reading this book and I made Ryan leave dinner early so I could go home and finish it. It will be hard to explain the plot without giving away the ending. So, I will say this, its set in London right before WWII. It centers around two sisters, Briony and Cecelia, and the boy next door, Bobbie. Briony makes an accusation toward Bobbie that changes all three of their lives forever. That’s all I can tell you, which is not the greatest review in the world, but trust me …. READ IT IMMEDIATELY. Read it before the movie comes out, which is soon, b/c I doubt the movie will be as good.

Fourth was Water for Elephants. For some reason, I am a sucker for a book about circuses. I’m not sure why, I don’t particularly like circuses. This book was a great little love story about a veterinarian, an elephant and a circus performer. The thing I didn’t like about the book was it jumped back and forth from the present day to the past, which is a pretty cheap literary device I have never been a fan of.

That’s it. I have not been reading anything in about a month … that’s what happens when My Life on the D-List, Top Chef AND Big Love are all on at the same time. Next on my TBR list …. Becoming Madame Mao.

I was hoping for NC-17, but ...

2007-07-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently, it was the use of "sexy" and "kill" that did me in.

It was a long time coming for both of us

2007-07-09T20:17:00.001-07:00

Back to the Real World

2007-07-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers, after a long hiatus I am back and I'm married and honeymooned and everything. No, not pregnant for those of you who were wondering.

Our wedding was beautiful and fun and Ryan and I had a blast. I know that everyone says that their wedding was the best wedding ever, but they are wrong. Mine was the Best Wedding Ever.

My good friend Janice told me that during my wedding I would be surprised, both pleasantly and unpleasantly, by friends and family. I am choosing to focus on the "pleasantly surprised" aspect.

I have, for a long time, suspected that I have the best friends a girl could have and my wedding proved my assumption correct.

My little urban family charmed my real family, Ryan's family and also my vendors (no joke, my DJ wrote me a note about how cool my friends are!) and made the entire weekend fun and funny and totally memorable. I will NEVER forget my girlfriends chanting "OVULATION! Cha cha cha!" as Ryan and I were leaving the after party to consumate our marriage. And I am sure the bartender won't either.

In particular, I can't thank Keith and Namita enough for all the wonderful things they did and said for us (Keith married us) that weekend.

My sister, brother-in-law and their best friends, Jeff and Frau, were also complete rock stars and I can't say enough good things to them or about them.

In short, a very long and stressful nine months of my life are now over and I have excellent memories of our wedding day. Now I can get back to what I really enjoy ... reading and blogging.

I did SOME reading on the honeymoon, and I will be posting my reviews in the next couple days.

Dum Dum da Dum!

2007-06-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

Dum dum da dum!

Ok dear readers (and I guess that means my sister and Namita!), I am out of here to get hitched and then on my HONEYMOON. My TBR pile for the honeymoon includes:

Alaska, by James Michener
The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver
Amy and Isabelle, by Elizabeth Strout
Back When We Were Grownups, by Anne Tyler
Open House, by Elizabeth Berg
The White Boned Demon, by Ross Terrill

I’m SO excited to get through some of these and I’ll post some reviews from beautiful Mediterranean Europe.

I'm so RACY

2007-06-01T09:59:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I like to track where my readers are coming from. This morning over my Starbucks I noticed that I get bizarre flurries of activity around 3 in the morning.

Hmmm, who is trying to find book reviews in the wee hours of the morning, I ask myself.

Well, it would seem that the majority of my nocturnal readers are finding my humble little site by typing “Sexy conversations” or “sexy sisters” into their search browser.

I imagine that for someone who has a fetish for watching two sisters get it on that my site might seem like a freakin’ goldmine! After all, my site is called “reading is SEXY” and I have a post entitled “ A CONVERSATION between two SISTERS”. Oh Google, you silly search engine with your crazy Boolean values.

I can only imagine the frustration a particularly horny gentleman must feel when he clicks on a link promising him seconds of ecstacy and instead finds himself reading about knitting and cookbooks. I feel like I have let certain gentlemen readers down.

And for that, Midnight Porn Surfers, I am sorry.

For those of you how found my site by searching for “dismemberment” … please leave and don’t come back.

A Geeky Book Soap Opera.

2007-05-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I read what I thought was an interesting article in the New York Times about how many newspapers are shortening their book sections or cutting literary editor positions because readers are starting to get their reviews from other places, such as a book blog. This trend reflects a broader problem for the newspaper industry as most of us are email, blackberry and internet dependent these days.

Although I’m a loyal, faithful advocate and reader of the New York Times Book Section, I freely admit that I get very few of my book recommendations from professional book reviewers. I tend to read the books that my peers are reading because we have similar tastes and life experiences. In addition, I have found perfect strangers through the Bloggosphere with similar tastes in music, television and movies, so it makes perfect sense for me to reach out to them for a recommendation before I turn to the New York Times book section.

And sometimes, after a hard week of work, a girl likes to read an amusing piece of Chick-Lit and I don’t find many favorable reviews in the San Francisco Chronicle Pink Pages.

However, I have nothing but the utmost respect (and envy) for those who are paid to write professional reviews of book.

About a week after the NYT article came out, this jerk at the LA Times, wrote a scathing retort accusing book bloggers of trying to usurp the role of Book Reviewer. He didn’t just stop there. He went on to question the formal training of a prolific book blogger by revealing his background in the auto parts industry, suggesting that perhaps a former auto parts employee couldn’t possibly be qualified to write about books. (The auto parts turned book blogger addresses the LA Times article here.)

This literary snobbery offends me greatly. Would the LA Times reviewer have called out a blogger who works as a practicing attorney? How about an accountant? A medical doctor? Are we to assume that only highly educated academics can truly enjoy a piece of literature and write eloquently about it?

Let's take this a step further, should we start screening potential readers before they purchase a book to ensure that they are smart and sophisticated enough to read it?

One of my biggest problems with professional book reviews (and it would seem that others share this opinion) is that many reviewers try to impress us with their research on the author and their knowledge about a genre or a body of work, and yet, they are unable to tell me if the BOOK IS GOOD!!!

I understand, being a former journalism major, that it’s not the reviewer’s role to form an opinion about the book, but to inform the reader that the book is out there, if it’s well-written, and what the plotline is. They are supposed to be impartial and not sway the reader.

Yet this is why I turn to the bloggers. I like that I can receive an honest opinion about a book by someone who is my age and my gender and who has similar taste in books. I WANT to hear someone say, “READ IT” or “Don’t bother.” Sure, some blogs are really poorly written and slapdash, but, hey, we aren’t claiming a byline on a major metropolitan newspaper so what’s the big deal?

As I book blogger and a reader of book blogs, I can honestly say that for the most part, we have no intent or desire to put the literary editing field out of business.

I respect reviewers and I look to them for news, for advice, and even for modeling how to write a good book review. So, they should really lighten up … and realize that their readers are also potential book bloggers. And they shouldn’t piss us off.

Because we will blog about them next.

Tinky Winky says ...

2007-05-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

See Ya Lata, Hata!

RIP, Jerry Falwell.

Review: A Long Way Down

2007-05-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

Now, I love Nick Hornby. LOVED loved loved About a Boy (the movie too, but the book was just lovely). I really truly enjoyed How to be Good, and I even liked Fever Pitch even though I didn't know what he was talking about half the time.

This book, A Long Way Down ... sigh, don't waste your time. Here's the gist: Four simply miserable souls end up on New Year's Eve at the top of a very tall apartment building in London with the same thought: to kill themselves.

One thing leads to another and they all agreed to wait 6 weeks, give life a try and come back on Valentine's Day. On V-day, they decide that life, while still sucking hardcore, is not that bad, so they give it another 90 days.

And it went ON and ON and ON. No one killed themselves. No one really was happy about NOT killing themselves, they all hated each other, and in turn, I hated every single one of them. Jump already!!!!

Ugh. Please someone ... I need a good book!

I'm so into this!

2007-05-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

Here's what I did: I listed nine of my used paperbacks and immediately received credit to order three books for free.

THEN, within about an hour, five people requested my books for five more credits....that's five more books I can order! I just pay $1.50 to ship.

So easy.

As Suze Orman always says, don't ever buy a book new when you can swap them for practically free!

T minus 29 days.

2007-05-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am officially less than one month out from being an official “ball and chain.” On June 9, I shall be a “missus” … only, I’m not changing my name and I shall remain a “miz”.

Wedding planning has been surprisingly stress-free. More annoying than anything else. Fiancé and I have given up some much needed sleep and/or weekend time to meet with vendors, but I think at this point, we are in pretty good shape.

Flowers? Check. Cake? Check. Food? Check. DJ informed of my dislike for “I will Survive” or “YWCA”? Check Check. Booze? Oh, hell yes.

As excited as we are to finally be man and wife (even though it feels like we have been married for years), I think we are slightly more excited to go on our honeymoon.

We leave on June 13 for almost three weeks in Europe. We begin our journey in Positano, where I intend to do nothing but drink Bellini’s and act a damn fool in love. Then we drive up through Tuscany where we will stay in Siena for almost a week. After that, we drive all the way up to Venice for the token canal tour before hopping on a boat to Croatia.

Because we are both swamped with wedding and work errands and duties, we have done little to no research on our trip. Any suggestions on day trips, restaurants, ANYTHING?

Oh, and of course, I am in a book slump and will need honeymoon reading. Please send reviews and recommendations.

What would you do?

2007-05-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

When I moved to San Francisco and started my first job out of college, a woman about 5 or 6 years older than me (so she was probably 29 or 30 years old) named Jessica was assigned to train me in my position.

Jessica was totally cool and interesting and she had a fantastic haircut and wore really awesome clothes. We immediately became “work friends”. One of the benefits of a work friend is that you spend 40 plus hours a week together and with that comes a very intimate knowledge of the other’s personal life.

She soon let me know that about a year before we met, Jessica’s boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident which left him as a paraplegic. After a lot of soul searching, Jessica made the very difficult decision to stay with him through his rehabilitation because she loved him and wanted a future with him. She learned how to take care of him, and even learned how to have sex with him again. However, about a year after the accident, he broke up with her stating that he never intended to marry her or spend the rest of his life with her before the accident occurred.

As you might imagine, she was devastated. She soon quit and we didn’t keep in touch. I do think about her quite often, and wondered how I would make the same decision, if I were forced to.

This very long winded introduction is necessary to explain why I was so excited to read “The Dive from Clausen’s Pier” by Ann Packer. Carrie Bell is 23 years old, living in Madison, Wisconsin and unhappily engaged to her high school boyfriend, Mike. Carrie is contemplating leaving Mike when he takes a dive off of Clausen’s Pier into shallow water and ends up paralyzed.

To stay or not to stay, was the question Carrie asked herself. Faced with the most challenging and emotional experience in her life, Carrie chose a path that surprised her friends and Mike by fleeing Madison in the middle of the night, moving to New York City and immediately falling in love with an older, extremely unavailable man.

I thought this book was excellent. Or rather, I thought the main characters were fascinating. I read a lot of reviews and understand that quite a bit of people thought that Carrie was very selfish and one dimensional, but I couldn’t disagree more. I can’t think of anything more selfLESS than Carrie admitting her own limitations, in acknowledging that she just didn’t love Mike enough to stay and to take an incredibly unpopular road all alone.

What I really liked about this book is that I couldn’t predict anything that Carrie was going to do. I won’t give away the ending, but it definitely was quite different than what I expected. I liked that Carrie was not perfect, that she made a lot of people very angry, that she behaved irrationally, that she hurt the person who loved her most. I loved that she was courageous and made a lot of bad decisions because she didn’t want to make the “right” decision that was terribly wrong for her.

There were a few plot points I had a hard time with. For instance, Carrie lived in New York without working, going to school, eating out with friends, on about $3000, which is totally impossible. It shouldn’t have really bothered me, but I hate it when authors get lazy. And the character of Kilroy, the emotionally stunted older man Carrie falls for, was just slightly too formulaic for me.

I give this book a hearty thumbs up for anyone who is in the mood for a surprising read.

Let Them Eat Cake

2007-04-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

Fiancé and I just returned from a 5-day trip to Puerto Vallarta, where we quickly realized our hotel had 1) a swim-up bar; 2) bar service 24 hours a day, and; 3) a deck from our hotel room.

Upon realizing this and that fact that we didn’t particularly want to check out the Starbucks, the Outback Steakhouse and the two, count ‘em, TWO Hooters in downtown PV, I settled in with Marie Antoinette: The Journey, by Antonia Fraser.

About 5 days, countless banana daiquiris, a few plates of guacamole and chips later, I made my through all 544 pages.

Fraser provides a very sympathetic account of Antoinette, the French (Austrian) princess who married the Dauphin when she was just 14 years old. Her marriage to the Dauphin was not consummated for seven years, to great consternation of her meddling mother, the Empress of Austria. It was during these years that Marie Antoinette, a child raised to be a queen who had no idea about the value of money, became known for her extravagant expenditures on clothing and gambling.

The author DOES the myth (along with many other historians) that Antoinette could not have uttered the famous words “Let them eat cake” in reference to the bread shortage among the French lower classes. Antoinette was actually known among her family and friends as being over-generous to her staff and concerned about the many unnecessary positions at the Versailles court.

When Marie Antoinette and Louis XV1became King and Queen at in their late teens, they inherited a country in poverty due to wars that Louis XVI father and grandfather fought in. In addition, Louis XVI, not a great political thinker, was influenced by his advisors to help fund the Revolutionary War. The French citizens of course blamed the royalty for the nation’s ills, and most of their hatred was directed at Marie Antoinette, who was a foreigner in their minds.

A VERY confusing series of events known as the Affair of the Necklace, which I’m not even going to attempt to explain here (and believe me, do NOT rent the movie with Hilary Swank) was the final nail in the coffin for the French queen. I'll let you read about it here on Wikipedia.

Shortly after The Affair of the Necklace, a mob of angry French citizens stormed Versailles and demanded that the King and Queen (and their children) abandon the castle and move into the Tuilleries where they were held prisoner for several years before trying to escape the country. The escape plan was foiled and they were both charged with treason.

I think the rest is history….both King and Queen were beheaded. The Queen was treated particularly cruelly prior to her death; her best friend was attacked and literally torn to pieces by an angry mob and her dismembered head was paraded in front of the Queen.

That is an EXTREMELY condensed version of a 544-page book. I highly recommend this book for an excellent history lesson in French politics, as well as a fascinating account of life at Versailles, which was just completely over the top.

Me in a nutshell

2007-04-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

The right to bear arms?

2007-04-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

When our constitution allows a 23-year-old boy to buy a Glock and kill 32 college kids and their professors ... it is clear that our constitution is outdated, inaccurate and failing us. Plain and simple.

I know that is a completely simplistic, uninformed and bleeding heart liberal's response to yesterday’s tragedy, but COME ON! Is being rational and fair and logical about the second amendment really working for us?

Stop FUCKING selling semi-automatic weapons. Jesus! How hard is it to understand?

My heart goes out to the families and friends of those who were killed yesterday.

Review: Cold Mountain

2007-04-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

In a previous post, I mentioned that there are certain books that I’ve only seen in movie format, and Cold Mountain, by Charles Frazier, falls in that category.

I really really enjoyed the movie. I thought it was beautifully shot and Renee Zellwegger was fantastic. I even liked Jude Law, who normally isn’t my favorite actor. I thought some of the dialogue was very moving, and I LOVED Nicole Kidman’s hair.

So, I really didn’t see any use in reading the book, because I always have about 10 books on my TBR list. However, when some of my friends heard that I had not yet read the book, I was very soon given a copy to immediately read.

Folks, this book is FANtastic. I’m so glad I gave it a chance. I think most of us have seen the movie, so I’ll recap briefly.

It’s four years into the Civil War and Ada and Inman are still pining after each other after a brief series of awkward encounters (and one amazing kiss) before the war broke out and Inman left for battle. Somehow, those brief encounters and one amazing kiss were meaningful and touching enough have turned into feelings of love. After Inman takes a serious neck wound and spends a few months recovering at a military hospital, he deserts the army and starts a long walk back to Ada on Cold Mountain, South Carolina.

Ada, waiting for Inman and clinging to the few letters she has received from him, has lost her father, the town minister. With no skills other than painting and playing the piano, Ada has let the farm she lives on run amuck. Close to starvation, she accepts an offer of help from Ruby Thewes, a spunky young woman who has big plans to restore Ada's land into a working farm again.

Anything else I told you would be a spoiler, so I won’t go on.

So much about this book was beautiful: the sweeping descriptions of Cold Mountain, Inman’s encounters with strangers willing to give house war deserters, Ada and Ruby’s friendship, Ruby’s spirit to overcome adversity, and lastly, Inman’s and Ada’s love that sustained them both through four year’s of struggle.

Pretty much every review of this book has stated that it’s “astonishing” or “true literature” or “spellbinding”. I, in my humble opinion, would have to agree.

Chick Lit Quiz

2007-04-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

I am not the biggest fan of Chick Lit, but I admit that I have read my fair share, which is why I was a bit surprised that I only scored a 53 percent on the Chick Lit Quiz.

Review: Charlotte Gray

2007-04-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is male writers who POORLY write female characters. Charlotte Gray, by Sebastian Faulks, is a perfect example of this unfortunate trend.

Before I explain why I didn’t not enjoy this book, let me give you a rundown about the plot, because it actually sounds pretty good and some of you out there who aren’t as overly-critical as me might really enjoy it.

During WWII, Charlotte travels from her home in Scotland to London to help with the war effort and very soon after falls in love with a British pilot, Gregory. Gregory gets shot down over France and Charlotte decides to head to France to find him. She joins an underground network supporting the French Resistance. Her first assignment takes her to Lauvarette, a small village that is occupied by the German army. Charlotte develops a friendship with a Jewish resistance fighter, Julien, as well as becoming involved in an attempt to hide two young Jewish children whose parents were deported to a concentration camp.

I can’t tell you much more that wouldn’t be considered a spoiler at this point.

Ok, so sounds interesting, right? Well, I had a MAJOR problem with the way Faulks wrote this character. First, Charlotte and Gregory have little to no meaningful interaction (besides apparently good sex) prior to his disappearance, and yet we were supposed to believe that Charlotte was SO in love with Gregory that she would risk her life to find him? They knew nothing about each other and never told each other how they felt about each other….and yet she jumped out of an airplane and lives in disguise for 6 months to find him and bring him back home?

No, I don’t believe that.

I also don’t believe that she would spend six months in Lauvarette, develop a deep friendship with Julien with whom she has EVERYTHING in common, have sex with him, and share more experiences with him than with Gregory and STILL claim that she is in love with the missing pilot.

There were some other major distractions that really got on my nerves. The biggest one was Charlotte’s repeated recollection to some sort of abuse from her father, contributing to the depression that has plagued her for many years. First of all, clearly, the author doesn’t understand clinical depression because Charlotte exhibited NO symptoms of depression or lethargy or hopelessness during the course of the novel. Second, the explanation, when it is revealed, of why her father “abused” her was nothing short of a cop out.

One thing that I thought was great about the book was the education on the relationship between the duplicity between the Germans and the French during the early years of WWII. As I have mentioned before, my high school and college history classes did not adequately prepare me to write eloquently about world history, so I won't attempt to do it here. But my interest is piqued and I will probably be writing more reviews of WWII history in the next few months.

Boys, if you don't know how to write about women, write about men. That's my advice to you.

Listening to: The Last Kiss Sountrack

2007-04-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

Usually, I try to refrain from reviewing movies or music because there are people out there in the Bloggersphere who are far more eloquent than I am, but every now and again, an album catches my fancy and I listen to it obsessively.

Some obsessively-listened to albums from my past include: Live’s “Throwing Copper”, Edie Brickell’s “Shooting Rubberbands at the Moon” and Damien Rice’ “O”.

Right now, I can’t bring myself to stop listening to “The Last Kiss” soundtrack.

I won’t waste time here reviewing the movie, although I really liked it. Nutshell: Zach Braff and his friends are all 30-somethings feeling trapped by their relationships or marriages. Just rent it. You’ll like it.

But the soundtrack……holy god, I love it. I’m listening to it right now for about the 28th time this week. It’s mellow, heavily showcases singer/songwriters rather than bands, and most importantly, they are all easy to sing (which I have been doing for days now).

Some highlights: 1) Snow Patrol’s “Chocolate” is a brutally honest song about a guy who seriously fucks up his relationship and wants to make amends; 2) “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” by Rufus Wainright is so upbeat and quirky I feel like I’m on a ride at Disneyland; 3) the perfectly synthesized “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap is totally hypnotic and makes me want to lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling; and 4) “Paperweight” by Joshua Radin is one of the sweetest love songs I have heard in a long time.

These are just some of my favorites, but all 15 songs are completely listen-worthy. Enjoy!

Books and Booze

2007-04-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite things in this life are a good book and a good, stiff drink. And thank god my friends and family seem to understand me so well, because my extraordinary bridal shower planners threw a “Books and Booze”-themed shower for me last weekend. The also hosted an 80s-themed bachelorette party during which I scored the most awesome “I Love Jake Ryan” t-shirt (thanks sis!).

In, addition to numerous bottles of wine, I now have on my BTR (Books to Read) shelf: Freddy and Frederica (thanks Ali) The Prophet (thanks mom), The Celestine Prophesy (thanks mom), Marie Antoinette (thanks mom), the Kama Sutra (thanks Namita), Site Hound (thanks Chrissy and Becky), Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (thanks Christina), a couple awesome cookbooks (thanks Frauli and Danielle) and numerous books on bartending and wine-pairing (thanks Ronda and Karen).

This is all good news because Fiance and I are planning a 3-week honeymoon in Italy and I will need something to keep me occupied on our 13-hour flight to Naples. I’ve already started Freddy and Fredericka, which is very different from the type of book I usually read (historical fiction) so it’s taking me a while to get into it, but so far, I’m really liking it.

More reviews to come next week. I plan to devote a couple hours this week to reading and reviewing.

Reading: In the Shadow of the Crown

2007-03-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

So, a few years ago…. my friend Namita and I saw Elizabeth, starring the then unknown (to me anyway) Cate Blanchett. I was struck by a lot of things about this movie:; 1) Joseph Fiennes is wicked hot in a pair of tights; and 2) it would be totally cool to have to power to say to/about a man who had broken my heart, “let him live;” and 3) my ONE required World History course in college failed to sufficiently educate me about certain things about European history.

Before seeing this movie, I knew King Henry had a lot of wives. I knew he beheaded Anne Boleyn. I knew there was a Queen named Bloody Mary. I knew that Queen Elizabeth witnessed the Golden Age during her reign. However, I did not know how these powerful people were able to change the face of England’s religious landscape which each new King or Queen. So, I decided to find out.

And thus began my sick fascination with the Tudor kings and queens. I recently read “In the Shadow of the Crown” by Jean Plaidy. The author, who died in 1993, has a PROLIFIC collection of work surrounding the royal families in England: The Tudor Queens, The Plantagenets, the Normans, The Stuarts….you name it. She wrote something like 90 books under three different pen names.

Here’s what I liked about this book: It is not often that you read a sympathetic account of Queen Mary, daughter of King Henry and Queen Catherine of Aragon. Most of what you read about her is that she burned “heretics” at the stake for refusing to say Mass. You also read that she was slightly crazy and imagined that she was pregnant twice before sadly admitting that she was too old to have a baby (and she probably had ovarian cancer). You read about her obsession over her unhappy marriage.

This book tried to make a case for WHY Queen Mary was so deeply unhappy. It focused on the fact that at age 12, she was declared a bastard by her own father so King Henry could marry Anny Boleyn and separate from the Church of Rome so he could legally divorce Queen Catherine. Mary was kept away from her family and friends until her mid-20s when King Henry wanted to reconnect with his children that he had previously denied.

During the course of her life, she was target of many assassination plots, probably at the hand of her own father. She was forced to name King Henry the head of the Church of England, when she was a devout catholic and believer in Roman rule. She was coerced by her father to claim her own illegitimacy, forgoing her rightful claim to the throne after his death.

I’m sure that growing up with that sort of stress would cause ME to go a little crazy. I don't know if I would burn people at the stake who disagreed with my religion.....but I'm not a religious person.

Here’s what I didn’t like about this book: It was pretty apparent that Plaidy is a superb historian, but not the best novelist in the world. As I was reading, I kept thinking to myself, “It’s like she has other things to do right now”….like write 89 other books apparently. The book was more than 400 pages and could easily have been cut down by a quarter if the author stopped repeating herself. I found myself reading the same sentence and same dialogue….over and over and over again.

I wouldn’t particularly recommend this book to anyone who isn’t as bizarrely obsessed with Tudor history as I am. The only other person who fits that bill is my sister, and she gave me the book, so.....I don't recommend it.

100 books

2007-03-08T16:21:00.000-08:00

So, I have been seeing this meme around, and it was fun. It took a long time. Try it!

Books I believe I should read

1. The Celestine Prophesy (I like the cover a lot. It makes me feel serene.)
2. Anything by Suze Orman (I will admit that I watch her infomercials and like them a lot.)
3. The Fifth Discipline (It’s a work thing, but he’s wicked smart.)
4. Anna Karenina (I hear good things.)
5. Marie Antoinette: The Journey (The movie left me wanting more.)
6. The Bible (I have never read it cover to cover. Would like to know what all the fuss is about.)
7. On the Road (No reason, I just feel like it’s a Must Read.)
8. What to Expect When You’re Expecting (Just because Fiance and I are thinking about this stuff lately.)
9. The Prophet (Again, the serenity thing.)
10. The Alchemist (My friend Becky really likes this one.)

Books I wouldn't touch again with a ten foot pole

11. The Corrections (There was a chapter on POO, people.)
12. Angela’s Ashes (Yawn)
13. War and Peace (Who has that kind of time?)
14. Midnight’s Children (There were, like, 82 characters by page 16.)
15. A Million Little Pieces (I totally knew he was full of shit WAY before Oprah.)
16. The Lovely Bones (Freaked my shit out!)
17. Honeymoon with my Brother (See previous reviews of this horrible book)
18. Written on the Body (Totally did not get it at all.)
19. Tepper Isn’t Going Out (I got to page 8.)
20. Reading Lolita in Tehran (I thought this was going to be so different than what it was.)
21. Housekeeping (Again, got to page 8)
22. The DaVinci Code (Simply HORRID.)
23. White Oleander (Could one more thing have happened to that girl? Depressing!)
24. The Jane Austen Book Club (I can’t BELIEVE they are making a movie out of this shit.)

Books on my bedside table

25. In the Shadow of the Crown (About the life of Bloody Queen Mary)
26. Lonely Planet’s Italy (Honeymoon!!!!)
27. The Best Life Diet, by Bob Greene (I am WAY into it!)
Books on my TBR list
28. Fast Food Nation (I have a feeling I’m never eating out again.)
29. The Agony and the Ecstasy (I can’t wait. About the painting of the Sistine Chapel.)
30. Brick Lane (No idea what it’s about, but I really liked the cover.)
31. The Great Fire (I have no idea why I bought this book, b/c I can’t even remember what it’s about.)
32. The Memoirs of Cleopatra (We’ve been watching Rome on HBO, which prompted me to read this.)
33. 1906 (I like books about San Francisco.)
34. A Prayer for Owen Meany (KK and Namita keep telling me to read it.)
35. The Last Days of Dogtown (by the same author as The Red Tent, which I love)
36. Ella Price’s Journal (originally printed as a series of letters in Redbook magazine in the 70s, supposedly it’s still relevant today)
37. What to Drink with What you Eat (Trying to learn more about wine pairing)
38. Mastering the Art of French Cooking (I have Italian and Mexican food pretty well baked, should probably branch out to French now)
39. Geek Love (Cuz I’m a geek and I’m in love.)
40. Craze: Gin and Debauchery in an Age of Reason (Because it’s about the history of gin…..my favorite drink!)
41. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (Every reviewer is freaking out about this book.)

Books I’ve only seen in movie or TV form

42. Cold Mountain (I love this movie. I watch it EVERY time it’s on.)
43. Mansfield Park (How I love thee, Jonny Lee Miller.)
44. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Ex-boyfriend made me watch)
45. Lord of the Rings: The 2nd one (I actually liked this one.)
46. Lord of the Rings: The 3rd one (Oh my god, Frodo and Sam are SO GAY.)
47. The English Patient (Sigh. So tragic.)
48. Harry Potter and … (BORING.)
49. The Forsyte Saga (A MASTERPIECE. Seriously.)
50. A Room with a View (Simply gorgeous.)
51. Gone with the Wind (I kind of don’t get what the fuss is.)
52. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (Mos Def is adorable and so is the guy from the British version of the office.)
53. The Outsiders (Worth a peek to see what Tom Cruise used to look like.)
54. Dune (Don’t remember a thing about this movie except the blue eyes thing.)
55. The Thorn Birds (When I was a 13, I was seriously rooting for Meggie and Father Ralph. Now I just find it disturbing.)
56. Interview with a Vampire (I think that’s when Tom Cruise starting going a little crazy.)
57. The House of Mirth (A serious downer.)

Books I count among my favorites

58. Alias Grace (Read it, NOW!)
59. Poisonwood Bible (Definitely worth a re-read.)
60. Angle of Repose (It’s like poetry, it’s so beautiful.)
61. In a Sunburned County (One of the few books that has made me laugh out loud.)
62. Diary of Anne Frank (Reading this as an adult is amazing. She was extraordinary.)
63. In Cold Blood (I have read it again and again and again.)
64. I Know This Much is True (I stopped talking to family and friends for a week while I was reading this book.)
65. My Antonia (A must read for every woman.)
66. Daughter of Fortune (See my previous review.)
67. A Woman of Independent Means (This book made me cry and think about my gramma every single day.)
68. Hawaii (I read this book during a break-up and it kept my mind occupied for 3 weeks. It was fascinating.)
69. The Nudist on the Late Shift (Again, another book about the Bay Area.)
70. In the Time of Butterflies (I knew very little about Trujillo and it was really an eye opener.)
71. The Mists of Avalon (I have a weakness for Arthurian Legend.)
72. The Barbary Coast (Another San Francisco book.)
73. The Secret History (Couldn’t put it down.)
74. Sisters: The Saga of the Mitford Family (This family was WACKY, every single one of them.)
75. The Other Bolyene Girl (This book was DISHY and silly and my book club loved every page.)
76. Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China (Again, I knew very little about Mao and Communist China, and I felt very informed.)
77. The Time Traveller’s Wife (A lot of people didn’t like it, but I was fascinated!)
78. Middlesex (Who doesn’t love a hermaphrodite?)
79. Dorothy Parker: What Fresh Hell is This? A Biography (Poor Dorothy Parker….she was SO depressed.)
80. The Red Tent (Another Book Club favorite!)
81. Pride and Prejudice (Yes, I’m one of those girls who has a crush on that Mr. Darcy.)
82. Life of Pi (I still am not sure what happened there, but I talked about the end for days with anyone who would listen.)
83. Memoirs of a Geisha (I could read about kimonos for weeks on end.)
84. Clan of the Cave Bear (pages and pages of hot caveman sex!)
85. Galileo’s Daughter (I read a lot of books about Italian history, don’t I?)
86. The Giving Tree (An Oldie but a Goodie.)

Books I've heard of, but haven't or won't read

87. Love in the Time of Cholera (I’ve heard so many good things about it that it can’t possibly live up to its expectations.)
88. The Secret Life of Bees (I hate the title.)
89. The Master in Margarita (You can’t make me!)
90. The Kite Runner (I have no reason, it just doesn’t interest me)
91. Sports Writer (I have picked this up several times and I just can’t get into it)
92. Cryptonomicon (or however it’s spelled. There is A LOT of math in this book.)
93. Guns, Germs and Steel (My ex-boyfriend INSISTED it would change my life. It didn’t.)
94. Ruby Fruit Jungle (It’s been in my bookcase for about 7 years and I have never picked it up)
95. Prodigal Summer (Such a disappointment after Poisonwood Bible)
96. Their Eyes Were Watching God (Another one I just cannot get into and everyone LOVES it)
97. Tuesdays with Morrie (I don’t do Touchy Feely)
98. The Notebook (I don’t do Romantic either)
99. The Five People You’ll Meet in Heaven (I don’t do Heaven.)
100.The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Travelling pants? What?)

Reading: You'll Never Nanny in this Town Again

2007-02-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

I have such shameful, guilty pleasures. I'm not proud of them, but I do have them and I surrender to them frequently. I LONG for Friday afternoons when I can purchase the new US Weekly and quickly turn to the "Stars: They're Just Like Us" section to see Reese Witherspoon spoon Splenda into her Tall Extra Hot Triple Shot Half-Caff Vanilla Soy Latte. I TIVO "The Real Housewives of Orange County". I j'adore America's Next Top Model.

Which is why I picked up "You'll Never Nanny in this Town Again: The True Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny" last week when it was cold and rainy and I had the flu and I needed some celebrity scandal to keep me warm.

First off, this book is DISHY and I read it in about 8 hours. And I'm not going to lie when I say I enjoyed every single page of it. The author, Suzanne Hansen, graduated from Nanny University in The Middle of Nowhere, Oregon before landing a job as a live-in Nanny to Michael Ovitz, agent to stars such as Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise.

Hansen pulls no punches describing the year she spend in the Ovitz' household. Case in point: Mrs. Ovitz apparently had no desire or ability to care for her 7-month old infant and Hansen was responsible for morning, noon and midnight feedings for the baby. Mr. Ovitz called from a trip overseas and instead of asking about his children, repeatedly inquired about his art. Mrs. Ovitz spent thousands of dollars on manicures but refused to replace an iron which was a fire hazard to her housecleaning staff.

I won't go into much detail about the plot of the book because you get this gist: Hansen works 24 hours a day, seven days a week. She quits. Ovitz gets pissed and blackballs her in the Hollywood nanny community. She ends up getting a job with Debra Winger, who refuses to be intimidated by Ovitz.

I won't lie to you: This book is great dish, but it is by no means well-written. It is also very dated; Hansen worked in Hollywood in the late 80s and is now a mother herself in Oregon. What I think bothers me the most about this book Suzanne dredged up gossip that is almost 20 years and she never provided any grand insight about Hollywood and power, or delivered any kind of message about parenting methodology.

But, it is flu season, and if you have 8 hours to kill ... this book will deliver.

Good Food, Good Booze and Good Music

2007-02-21T14:52:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, a lot of my life has been consumed of late with work and wedding. Work is really boring, so I won’t go into that, but for those of you who are interested, wedding planning is coming along quite well.

As most of my friends know, I was not at ALL interested in having a wedding. I have never been a girl who dreams about my wedding day. I HAVE always dreamed about my honeymoon….which is going to be awesome, by the way…..but not my wedding day. Eloping sounded like the perfect option to me, but Fiancé’s and Family’s desires trumped mine. And that is ok, because Fiancé and I are going to have a really beautiful and fun wedding in the wine country. Good food, good music and good booze have been our motto, and so far it has worked for us.

For any bride-to-be out there, I can offer you three pieces of advice: 1) a beautiful wedding CAN be planned in less than a year (although it feels a bit rushed) and 2) DON’T buy into the bridal industry, and 3) decide what you part of the wedding is most important to you and spend your money on that.

Let me explain.

Point 1: A beautiful wedding can be planned in less than a year: There is simply NO need to devote 12-18 months of your life to plan a wedding (sorry Erica, if you are reading this!). Life is too short to worry about mundane details such as table assignments and RSVP cards. If you can devote one evening a week and one weekend day to meeting with caterers and florists and DJs, you should not have a problem booking vendors 6-8 months out.

Point 2: Don’t buy into the wedding industry: I cannot stress this enough. All the wedding books and websites offer all sorts of needless advice on how much to spend on flowers, how much to spend on your dress, when do send out your invitations, what sort of favors to give your guests, etc., and all I can say is…..make up your own rules. Plan your own budget and don’t exceed it. Don’t let vendors pressure you. I cannot tell you how many vendors TURNED US DOWN because they “couldn’t possibly” take on such a small and inexpensive wedding. Don’t let brochures and websites fool you into thinking that you are meeting with the BEST vendor and THEY make the rules. Meet with vendors, decide how much money you want to spend, and if their proposal goes over that amount, keep looking.

Fiancé and I talked to A LOT of vendors and we ended up choosing those who aren’t “fancy” and who aren’t “platinum wedding” vendors, but they all have a lot of integrity. We are receiving great customer service and no one is exceeding our budget. In fact, some of them are coming in under our budget.

Point 3: Decide what part of your wedding is most important to you and spend your money on that: Good Food, Good Music and Good Booze. Those were our top three priorities. Which is why I’m only having one bridesmaid and she is choosing her own dress. Which is also why we decided not to hire a professional photographer or videographer. Which is also why we are not giving favors. I really only want people drunk, well fed and dancing and I couldn't care less about anything else.

Just to plug our vendors…..for anyone who lives in the Bay Area and would like to plan a party or wedding in the wine country, give a quick call to our caterer, our florist, our rehearsal dinner location and our wedding venue.

Reading: A LOT

2007-02-20T18:47:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have been gone for a while. I have been planning a wedding, working insane, crazy hours and watching far too much bad TV. HOWEVER, I have been reading a lot lately.

First up, let's start with March, by Geraldine Brooks. This book follows the journey of Mr. March, the father in the story Little Women, as he leaves Concord, Massachusetts, and ministers to the soldiers in the Civil War For fans of Little Women, you will remember the girl's blind adoration of their father, which most daughters (myself included) can certainly relate to.

Mr. March makes a brief appearance at the end of Little Women, but his letters home are eagerly awaited throughout much of the book. However, this story takes the mystery out of the man. Brooks tells the story of an idealistic and slightly inept minister who foolishly loses the family money before volunteering for the Civil War, where his liberal views are not accepted by the soldiers. March is released from him duties after a semi-romantic friendship with a slave, Grace. Instead of going home to his children and wife and very disillusioned by the horrors of wartime, he becomes a teacher to a plantation of "freed slaves" before being shot trying to defend them in a raid by Confederate soldiers.

The second half of the book is told by his wife Marmee, when March himself lies in a hospital too injured to tell his own story. Again, Brooks provides a deeper look at Alcott's seemingly perfect and generous Marmee. In this story, Marmee is a frustrated, harried mother of four who doesn't understand how and why her husband could willingly leave his home during war time. She is understandably angry and jealous to find her delirious husband being nursed lovingly, in a strange twist of fate, by Grace, the now-freed slave for whom he developed feelings.

This book was probably one of the best books I have read in a long time. I couldn't put it down during Christmas, which I'm not sure my new in-laws appreciated. March is beautifully written, told in first person letters from Mr. March his family at home.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys historical fiction, or books about the Civil War, or fans of Little Women.

More book reviews to come later this week.

I know! I know!

2006-11-27T15:49:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's been, like, a month or something. Here's what's been going on with me: Stomach Flu, In-Laws visiting, Working, Stomach Flu AGAIN, More In-Laws visint, Working, Thanksgiving, STOMACH FLU A THIRD TIME, Working.

You get the picture. I'm not reading anything. Lost sucks. The Amazing Race is annoying me to no end. Thank god there is a new episode of The Office on this week otherwise I just don't think I could go on.

Kenneth had a request for some good wedding planning stories.....and I wish I had something entertaining to report, but so far, it's been fairly stress- and humor-free. I'll try and make something up.

But in the meantime, Fiance found this cool site. I thought I was SLIGHTLY more travelled than this. Apparently, I have only seen 6 percent of the world. Sad. I really need to get out more.

http://www.travbuddy.com/widget_map_confirm.php?id=4553

Out of Pocket

2006-10-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate that term?

Sorry it's been so long gentle readers. I have been travelling for work for a bit, living at a Radisson Suites in lovely Rancho Bernardo, California. Never hear of it? Yeah, there's a reason for that.

I was away for a week learning how to train people in my company to become "Self Leaders", to use their "I Need" statements, to "Partner for Success" and to "Sell their Solutions". Despite the touchy-feely vernacular, it was actually a really amazing experience and probably one of the highlights of my career. I finally realized that I'm pretty good at training people and I just *might* help people.

Anyway, while I was away, my gramma took a bit of a turn for the worse. I don't talk about my gramma very much on this site, because it makes me very emotional. But my grandmother is one of my favorite people and I love her very very much. She's not your typical cranky gramma, she's always been so loving and funny and lucid and just so wonderful to be around.

After living with and being cared for by my parents for the last five years, we all faced facts that she needs more help than what my parents can give her. We made the decision, with her agreement, that it was time for her to move to an assisted living facility.

I am visiting my parents right now, trying to spend some time with my gramma as she gets used to living at her new home. I will be honest when I say that it's the hardest thing I have ever done, to witness her deteteriorating in front of my eyes and to see confusion cloud her eyes from time to time. She has never looked so old or frail before and it's heart-breaking.

Getting old is the most undignified process I think anyone could go through. For my grandmother to have to ask for help to brush her teeth or cut her food is just no way for her to live after raising children and grandchildren and being an active and valued member of her community at church and work and volunteerism.

It's horrible.

Jumped the Shark

2006-10-19T17:30:00.000-07:00

Lost. You have let me down.

I don't want to give anything away to my readers who have not caught up on TIVO, but in last night's episode, there was a sweat lodge, a spirit guide.....and a very MacGyver-ish incident involving a torch, a can of hairspray and a polar bear.

I am starting to get really disappointed in this season. Do you think they are going to keep everyone separated all season? I like having the Big Fat Unhappy Family all together at the beach fighting it out over the guns and medicine supply. I'm not into Jack hanging out by himself in the shark tank while Sayeed, Sun and Jin are wandering around the rain forest somewhere. Sigh.

The only reason I keep watching......I have to know why Jack has all the crazy tattoos.

40 out of 1000?

2006-10-18T16:51:00.000-07:00

I love lists. And thank god there is listology.com to satisfy my obsessive need to check things off.

Here’s a list of 1000 books to read before you die.

It’s a pretty good list, I have to say. Of the measly 40 books on this list that I have read, they are probably 40 of my favorite books of all time. (I took a moral stance and did not include books that I couldn’t finish or movies that I saw instead of reading the book, or my list would have been closer to 100).

Incidentally, my FAVORITE book on this list and easily one of my Top Five Favorite Books Ever? Alias Grace, by Margaret Atwood. Get thee to a bookstore….at once….. and buy it.

How many have you read? And more importantly, what’s your favorite book on here…..b/c I can’t find a THING to read right now.

100 degrees of hotness

2006-10-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

Recently Gawker took a look at the phemonemon known as "Anderson Cooper" and just what makes him so downright fabulous.

Personally, I would rate his blue eyes MUCH higher than his blue blood, but that is just because I am so incredibly......deep.

Monday Fun

2006-10-16T17:26:00.000-07:00

I'm reading this right now and howling in my cube.

Shameful

2006-10-09T15:33:00.000-07:00

While I’m planning my own legally-recognized wedding, I’m painfully aware that many of my gay friends have been happily married, own homes together and paid exorbitant amounts of money to have children with their own DNA……and yet the 1st District court continues to uphold the ban on gay marriages in California.

I don’t know what to say, there's nothing to say, for it makes no goddamned sense.

I can only say I'M SORRY to Timm, David, Michael, Michael, Kenneth and Rusty…..who have all, for many years, been better and more loving partners than a lot of the straight people I know…..including myself.

Downright adorable

2006-10-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

Our mayor, who I voted for, FINALLY lets his hair down. He should have done this LONG ago. It's too bad my friend, future Senator Kuckelman, just got married.....because they could have beautiful, politically active children together.

(just kidding, KK, I love Anthony.)

Is it me?

2006-10-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

Or does anyone else just want to get loaded whenever you watch Sideways? Because I do. But it's only 2:18 in the afternoon. Sigh.

"I'm not drinking any FUCKING merlot!"

I can’t sleep.

2006-10-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

I am a bad sleeper. In the past year or so, it’s gotten really bad. I wake up 4-5 times a night. I get night sweats. I have nightmares. My mind races. I worry about not getting enough sleep in order to function at work. And I cry in bed and wake Fiance up.

It doesn’t help that our apartment has the walls the consistency of tissue paper and I can hear our upstairs neighbor breathe (very heavily). It also doesn’t help that Fiance has a deviated septum and tends to snore. It also doesn’t help that we have pipes in our walls that bang for 30 minutes at 4:20 a.m. every morning when the heat goes on.

I’m tired. And I’m not fun right now. And I’m on the verge of tears a lot of the time. And I fear that I’m not being a good partner to Fiance when I’m like this.

So I want to officially apologize to Fiance and my friends and family who read this blog because I realize I’m not myself right now.

But I'm trying to figure it out.

Reading: Fall on Your Knees

2006-10-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

I’m breaking all my self-imposed rules right and left these days.

1. I started eating cheese. About 20 years ago, I decided, for reasons that elude me, that I don’t like cheese. Turns out….I like cheese a lot and have been eating it non-stop.

2. I’m planning a wedding. I’ve been pretty much adamant that I want to elope for a long time……and guess what? I’m not. Planning a big ol’ wedding and I’m wearing a big ol’ white dress.

3. I keep reading Oprah-sanctioned books.

I Just finished Fall on your Knees, by Ann-Marie McDonald, a book that Oprah apparently “couldn’t put down” in 2002. Not that I care what Oprah thinks…..but I thought I would throw that out there if you care.

Ok. I’ll give Oprah a little credit because this book was a page-turner. Seriously. In 400 something pages, we’ve got murder, racism, depression, drownings, promiscuity, incest, homosexuality, unwed mothers…..not to mention a couple world wars. I think within 7 pages, three major characters died by murder, suicide and childbirth.

It’s really hard to describe this book. It’s one of those stories where you really aren’t sure what is going on, but you know that you’ll figure it out if you keep reading and you WANT to keep reading because you HAVE to know what is going on. The final plot twist is revealed on the last page. I won’t tell you what it is.

The story revolves around the Piper family, headed by James and Materia and their daughters who live in a remote corner of Nova Scotia called Cape Breton. The book resolves around the daughters, primarily. Kathleen is a prima opera singer and the apple of her father’s eye. Mercedes is the reliable one of whom no one really notices. Frances is a major trouble maker and Lily is the baby of the family who survived polio.

And besides that, I can’t really tell you much else because it would take way too long. But I really liked this book. It was disturbing and I can’t say that I really liked any of the characters, but it was completely well-written and very, very intense.

Thumbs up.

Yuck-O!!!!!

2006-09-29T11:47:00.000-07:00

As I have mentioned before.....I watch a lot of the Food Network. Currently on my tivo line-up are: Everyday Italian, Barefoot Contessa, Paula's Home Cooking, Iron Chef America, Road Tasted and Paula's Party....and I'm contemplating adding Nigella Barker's new show, but I can't commit.

The ever-present barrage of cooking shows has been handled with extreme grace and patience from Fiance, who quietly plays online poker while I constantly ask him, "would you eat that?" or "do you think I could make that?"

One of the reasons our happy home is quite harmonious is that we agree on one simple rule: NO RACHAEL RAY AT ANY TIME.

It's actually too bad, and you know why? Her food is quite good. But her accent? QUITE BAD. And calling extra virgin olive oil "EVOO"? Excrutiating. And her constant usage of "Yumm-o?" I want to rip her arms off and beat her with them.

And there are her jeans.....which just always appear to ride slightly too high and are usually paired with some body-hugging t-shirt that does nothing for a short, curvy girl......and I'm a short, curvy girl, so I can freely comment on her fashion sense.

Rachael Ray is getting a lot of mileage these days....with her magazine and her talk show and multiple cook books. I'm cool with that, even though I find her more irritating then nails on a chalkboard, because I think we need more short, curvy women who like to eat as role-models out there. As long as I can turn off the TV and not listen to her.....I'm fine with her success. Mazel Tov, I say.

However....THIS.......I was completely unprepared for. This is WRONG.

This is going to haunt my dreams......and not in a good way.

A guest blogger: HotMom

2006-09-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

My friend HotMom is a dear friend from college, where we attended Journalism school together. HotMom has left our fair city by the bay to live in the Burbs with her lovely husband and adorable 2-year-old son. We correspond daily, and today she sent me this. I enjoyed it thorougly and I expect you will too:

I thought it would be nice to go have a picnic dinner with Kai at the park last night, just like my mom and I used to do before we went grocery shopping each week. She and I would eat burritos from Taco Bell, but we got hot dogs and hamburgers instead. Rather than getting fries, I opted for the ever-so-healthy carrot sticks and apple sauce side combo…

So we went to the park and we ate and stared up at the big trees and ran around the playground and dug in the dirt had a lovely time. We ate our dinner and Kai saved his carrot sticks for the car ride home. He sat so quietly in the back seat, gleefully eating the carrots while I sang and sang along to the radio, completely oblivious to the sinister goings-on in the back seat.

When we arrived home, he said “Mommy, carrot... nose.” Obviously this was just silly toddler babble! There was no carrot on his nose! “No mommy, IN nose!” Um… let me see. No, I don’t see anything. Enough with the crazy talk!

But he persisted, so I got out a flashlight and lo and behold – there was a carrot in his nose. Lodged waaaay up there where the sun don’t shine. It looked tiny enough, so I tried to make him blow it out. To no avail. I tried to smush it down from the outside. That seemed to hurt. I stuck that bulb aspirator thing up there and tried to suck it out. It didn’t budge.

I called our pediatrician, fearing that Kai would suffocate in the middle of the night if I didn’t get this thing out. He actually picked up the phone (which never happens), and said that the real concern was that Kai could contract a nasty and painful sinus infection if we didn’t get it out of there. And so we went to Urgent Care. At 7:30pm. With no sign of Daddy in sight (he’s in Atlanta on a business trip, and had his RINGER OFF the entire night because he was at dinner. Doghouse!).

Miraculously, there was only one other person in the waiting room. She was holding her stomach as though she was suffering from an excruciating and highly contagious virus of some sort, so we sat waaay across the room from her. But there was a bright yellow sign above the registrations desk – something about “staffing shortages… longer than average wait times…” Oh joy!

Kai was bouncing off the walls. Literally. Squealing. Up down up down up down. On the floor (gross!). Playing drums on the chairs. Non stop. For an hour. While 10 other injured and sick people came crawling in to join us.

We finally saw a physician’s assistant who said he wasn’t sure he could get the carrot out. Kai was quite a trooper, actually excited to see the “doctor”, sit in the big boy examination chair, etc. Until he came in with The Stick. He laid Kai back, shined a light up his nose, and proceeded to dig up his nostril farther than I thought humanly possible. Kai SCREAMED something awful and out it flew. The offending carrot! It was way bigger than I imagined it would be. Especially compared to his little 2-year-old nostrils. So I held him and calmed him down and took a photo of the carrot chunk lying there on the table with my camera phone.

Just when you think your highly intelligent child would never run out in traffic, eat glue, smear his poo on the couch, shove a carrot up his nose, etc, he does it! And that is the moral of this story. Expect the unexpected.

Reading.....Kenneth's Blog

2006-09-25T17:03:00.000-07:00

Reading…..

Kenneth is a lot funnier than me. No, he really is. It has taken me 6 years of friendship with him to realize that he is, quite simply, my superior when it comes to humor. And I’m ok with that.

So I’m deferring to his blog entry to further discuss why and how much we LOVE LOVE LOVE Team Kentucky on The Amazing Race.

I do, however, have a lot more hair than he does. Yeah, thems fightin' words Kenneth!

Hurry Up, Quack, Quack!

2006-09-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm back on The Amazing Race Bus after a brief hiatus. This season has all the components I need to be instantly hooked: best friends, horrible couples just minutes from breaking up, couples who have been dating for about two minutes, fathers and daughters and The Gays. (I can write that. I’m a Friend of the Gay.) One thing that has changed is that teams can be booted off at any point in the trip for being in last place, not just at a Pit Stop.

I can’t be bothered to care about all the teams this early in the game, so here are my early favorites.

Team Kentucky: Oh, for crying out loud. I love love LOVE these two. I love it that our collective assumption is that backwoodsy Appalachians are small-minded, homophobic, wife beaters (or is that just MY small-minded assumption?), and then CBS goes and proves us wrong! Team Kentucky was polite, supportive of each other (particularly when Kentucky Husband tells his wife their kids will be proud of her for scaling the Great Wall of China), supportive of other teams and supportive of The Gays (am I the ONLY one who heard Kentucky Wife say “Hi Ladies!” to The Gays?. HiLARious.) And then Kentucky Wife went and uttered my favorite line EVER to a Chinese taxi driver…..”HURRY UP, QUACK QUACK!” It’s like she and I speak the same language.

Team India: They seemed like they have a really strong relationship and I love to see couples who don’t verbally and physically abuse each other on national TV, a la Victoria and Jonathan. Plus Fiancé thought Arti is really pretty, which she totally is. Oh wait. They are already out. Team India, we shall miss you.

Team Gay: Just cuz they are such girls and they say all the right Gay things.I hope they keep hanging out and doing cheers with Team Spirit.

Here’s who I CANNOT STAND:

Team Rehab: Oh, please. My good friend Kenneth and I were discussing that “they were probably jazzed up on Tina” for a weekend and decided that it would be, like, so hot for their careers to go 12-stepping. Bored now. Moving on.

Team Peg Leg (Look, I never said I wasn’t going straight to hell, ok?): All I’m saying is that if girlfriend can run to get to the plane (not to mention run a triathlon) she should not be playing the invalid card to get special boarding privileges. Although, points back for stating that “she’s leaking hydraulic fluid.”

Team Let’s Take This To The Next Step (LTTTTNS): Haven’t we been here before? Haven’t we met these two already? In the form of a former beauty pageant queen and a POW who broke up in an airport on national television? Look kids, if you are having doubts about your relationship…..going on TV, getting very little sleep, eating next to nothing and getting dropped in the middle of a 3rd World country with no money is NOT going to provide any clarity. Just don’t do it. Break up over email…..like the rest of us, ok?

Yeah, I have no actual commentary on the show. That’s not what I’m here for.

Review: Honeymoon with my Brother

2006-09-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

I think I’m going through a mid-life crisis. Ok, not really, but I'm definitely going through this thing where I'm all, "what should I do with my life?" and "what am I good at?" and "why don't I care more about my career?" and most importantly, "why can't I retire and travel around the world?"

Here’s my shortlist: I want to tango in Argentina. I want to see the glaciers in Iceland. I want to hike Machu Picchu. I want to see the cherry blossoms in Kyoto. I want to go on Safari in Botswana. I want to drive through Ireland and stop at every pub for a Guinness.

More and more lately, a recurring thought has been running through my brain: There has GOT to be a better way to spend 48 weeks out of my year than stuck inside my cubicle looking at powerpoint decks.

And yet, for every time I visit lonelyplanet.com, I'm also experiencing this odd, yet completely natural urge to find an apartment with a bigger kitchen, to get married to fiancé (June 9, 2007, by the way) to stop taking making my birth control and have adorable brown-haired, brown-eyed children that hopefully will have Fiancé’s thick hair and my freckles.

These opposing feelings.....they are confusing me.

Which is why I picked up this book. The author, Franz Wisner was 34 when his long-term fiancé called off their wedding the week before. Wisner, devastated, invited his brother on this honeymoon to Costa Rica. The good times they had on the trip prompted them to quit their jobs, sell their houses and embark on a 2 year trip around the world to find themselves and their personal happiness. Their trip began in Europe, moved east to Asia, then down to South America and ended in Africa.

I really was hoping this book would inspire me. I wanted to hear about fantastic beaches and beautiful wildlife and life-altering moments of clarity on the side of a mountain that would compel me to make a decision about my own life, but that’s not what I got. What I got was a poorly-written, very long diary entry from an extremely shallow and annoying Republican.

Wisner, a former press secretary for Governor Pete Wilson (strike number 1), tries so hard to convey personal growth and inner peace through a thinly veiled literary technique involving emotional letters to his ailing grandmother (strike number 2….hello, editors, we’re not idiots!), yet describes in excruciating detail his desire to feel his ex-fiancé’s breast augmentation (Ew! Strike 3!). He insults backpackers on a global level (including calling Germans “ugly”). He alarmingly describes having sex with a woman in Prague and being extremely annoyed she wanted to hang out with him the next day.

But here is what really got me about the book: Wisner describes, in great detail, a burning desire to re-connect emotionally with his brother, to forge a new bond, to seek forgiveness for 10 years of being so wrapped up in his own career and relationship that he never noticed his brother going through a painful divorce. Well, about 300 pages into the book, they FINALLY talk about it, and the conversation kinda went like this.

Wisner: Dude, I’m sorry about your divorce.
Brother: Whatever dude. It’s over.
Wisner: Yeah, but like, I shoulda been there for you, dude.
Brother: I’m cool, dude.

And that was it.

I’m giving this book a major thumb’s down for being boring, annoying and trite. Or maybe I’m just in a bad mood because I’m writing this from my cubicle while Wisner is currently traveling the world researching his next poorly written book.

Project Zaftig

2006-09-14T13:19:00.000-07:00

What would Tim Gunn say about this, I wonder.

1988

2006-09-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

In 1988, I was a junior in high school and my US government teacher assigned us to watch both the Republican and Democratic national convention speeches.

This lady, her keynote address and her commitment to women's rights convinced me to become a card carrying member of the democratic party.

RIP, Ann Richards.

reading

2006-09-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

"The Dead of September 11"
By Toni Morrison
Written September 13, 2001

Some have God's words; others have songs of comfort for the bereaved. If I can pluck courage here, I would like to speak directly to the dead-the September dead.

Those children of ancestors born in every continent on the planet: Asia, Europe, Africa, the Americas… born of ancestors who wore kilts, obis, saris, geles, wide straw hats, yarmulkes, goatskin, wooden shoes, feathers, and cloths to cover their hair. But I would not say a word until I could set aside all I know or believe about nations, war, leaders, the governed and ungovernable; all I suspect about armor and entrails. First I would freshen my tongue, abandon sentences crafted to know evil-wanton or studied; explosive or quietly sinister, whether born of a sated appetite or hunger; of vengeance or the simple compulsion to stand up before falling down. I would purge my language of hyperbole; of its eagerness to analyze the levels of wickedness; ranking them, calculating their higher or lower status among others of its kind.

Speaking to the broken and the dead is too difficult for a mouth full of blood. Too holy an act for impure thoughts. Because the dead are free, absolute; they cannot be seduced by blitz.

To speak to you, the dead of September, I must not claim false intimacy or summon an overheated heart glazed just in time for a camera. I must be steady and I must be clear, knowing all the time that I have nothing to say-no words stronger than the steel that pressed you into itself; no scripture older or more elegant than the ancient atoms you have become.

And I have nothing to give either-except this gesture, this thread thrown between your humanity and mine: I want to hold you in my arms and as your soul got shot of its box of flesh to understand, as you have done, the wit of eternity: its gift of unhinged release tearing through the darkness of its knell.

Yum.

2006-09-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

So, much to Fiance's annoyance, I have added another cooking show to our TIVO.....Barefoot Contessa. I just love her. Her voice is so relaxing, I just want to lay on the sofa with my eyes closed and have her soothe me to sleep as she talks about fresh bay leaves and button mushrooms.

Anyway, last week I caught an episode where she was making her husband a beef stew made with an entire bottle of wine. Yeah, I'm in.

So, last night I made this. In my brand spanking new Le Creuset dutch oven.

It was seriously the best dish I have ever made.

Make it. You won't be disappointed.

oh jordan catalano.....

2006-09-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, so back high school and Angela was totally in love with you but she was sorta nerdy and you didn't really want to admit that you liked a nerdy girl it was OKAY to act aloof and angsty and totally bored with life.

But Jordan, it's been, like, 15 years since Your So Called (high school) Life, and you and Angela have been broken up for a really long time because her parents totally hated you and she has never gotten over you and it's RUINED her to the point where she stole TOTALLY had an affair with that hot guy from Almost Famous and broken up his relationship with that chick from Weeds and every magazine was talking about what a horrible person she is.

Haven't you done enough? Do you REALLY need to attend the VMAs looking like this?

platinum weddings

2006-08-31T17:48:00.000-07:00

Does anyone watch that show on WE? It's frightening. Did you know that some brides can spend up to 85K on flowers? Can I tell you that 85K is more than I make in a year?

So, I already don't really enjoy wedding planning, much to Fiance's (nee Boyfriend) dismay. It's just SUCH a scam! We had a wedding planner tell us that we should plan on spending $8000 on pictures. What? I don't need an $8000 photo album in my living room that no one else is going to look at except my parents, thank you very much. And flowers? Don't even get me started. They die. In a day. I'm not spending $4000 on flowers that I will never look at/touch/smell again.

Sigh, needless to say, I'm not one of those women who has planned their fairy princess wedding since she was a little girl. Here's the thing about me: I HATE being the center of attention. I HATE planning parties. And I don't look good in white.

It's a good thing that he is kind of into it, because thus far, he has done most of the planning. And I have a feeling he will continue to do most of the planning.

I actually feel terrible that Fiance is more into this than I am.....so here is my list of what I'm REALLY looking foward to about my upcoming nuptuals.

1. Walking with my dad down the aisle.
2. Seeing the look on Fiance's face when he sees me in my dress.
3. Being introduced as man and wife.
4. Seeing all my best friends and family in one room.
5. Signing the marriage certificate.
6. Dancing my fanny off with my Besty's
7. Leaving the reception knowing that we threw such an excellent party that all my friends will be hungover.

milestones.....

2006-08-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

Graduating college. Moving to San Francisco. Buying a brand new sofa. Switching from CDs to my Ipod. These have all been major milestones in my life. Saturday afternoon, I passed the most important milestone of all when Boyfriend asked me to marry him.

It came as very little surprise to any of my friends and family….. or me for that matter. We have been talking about getting married since about, oh, our fourth date. But I was still speechless when he asked….which never really happens.

I’m so thankful that Boyfriend and I took a chance on each other. I met him at an inopportune time in my life….when I was still reeling from a very painful break-up and needing a break from dating. He was not what women refer to as “good on paper.” He was jobless. He was traveling the US and living out of his truck. He was crashing on friend’s sofas. His permanent address was his mother’s.

Conversely, he took some chances when he cut his travels short and made the choice to live in an expensive city far from him family and friends.

And yet, it made perfect sense for us to go on our first date even though he was leaving the next day for an indefinite period of time to surf in Southern California. I never had a moments doubt that he wouldn’t come back, wouldn’t pick up the phone when I called, wouldn’t return my emails. I knew with 100 percent certainty that he and I were going to somehow be linked to each other.

And now we are. Permanently and legally.

I challenge you....

2006-08-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

To read this blog and NOT sing Holiday Road for the rest of the day.

Houseboating 2006: A tradition

2006-08-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hello readers.

Last week a friend of mine pointed out that she read my blog to find out how I’m doing. It’s not really why I started my blog, to correspond with my friends, but what the heck? I actually started my blog to talk about books, and I haven’t been doing very much of that lately either.

So, here’s a little update story about our Houseboating 2006 adventure last weekend at Lake Shasta. I have been houseboating with friends every summer for 5 years now and it’s probably my favorite personal tradition I have. We do nothing except lay around (a lot), eat (a lot), drink (wow, A LOT), play Uno (a lot) and read celebrity magazine (more than we should)

Here’s bit of a highlight:

This was the only healthy thing we ate for 3 days.

We like old skool Uno games.

The lake is SO pretty.

Those are two of my friends who can’t be recognized and therefore can’t be stalked online.

One of my friends (who shall remain nameless) clogged the toilet…..a first in houseboating history.

Ali made a SUPER pork tenderloin.

We talked A LOT of how my friends can grip things with their toes and I can't.

And here is where I reveal myself to the information superhighway as the DORK THAT I AM. (I just plucked my eyebrows. Don't they look good?)

Who knew?

2006-08-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Remember when she took over for Mrs. Garrett on the Facts of Life? Oh, those were good days. I did not realize she was quite so strong. Did you?

My favorite quote from Weeds

2006-08-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

So, as per usual....I am a day late in hopping on good television bandwagon.

I JUST starting watching Weeds and any show that boasts this awesome quote as GOT to rock: "I'm not a dealer, I'm a mother who happens to distribute illegal products through a sham bakery set up by my ethically questionable CPA and his crooked lawyer friend."

God, that's good.

Review: Sex with Kings

2006-08-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

First, this book has a big old naked lady on the cover, so if you ride the bus or subway to work, you might want to consider some sort of book cover if you are prone to embarrasment, which I am not.

Second, if you are not prone to embarrassment, you MIGHT want to consider that in the middle of the book, there is a very large painting of two naked women pinching each other's breasts. I'm just saying.....be aware of that. Because I think the very old Russian women sitting next to me this morning might have had a heart attack.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way....my sister gave me this book as a birthday present because I think she wants to read it and didn't want to buy a book for herself with a naked lady on it because she is a minister and that would damage her rep. It's just a theory, but I think I'm on to something.

Also, both my sister and I have this thing for books about kings and queens. We have spent WAY too much time reading Philippa Gregory books about Henry VIII, Queen Elizabeth, etc.

So, here is what is pretty good about this book: There is A LOT of dirt. The author knows a lot about the sex lives of kings from Charles II to Prince Charles (I would really like to know how I can get a job researching the sex lives of kings, by the way). For instance, apparently Louis XIV had a very very VERY small penis. Oh, and the mistress of Henri II used to get him all hot and bothered before sending him off to his queen to try and get her pregnant. He would then come back to her bed after having sex with the queen.

This book is not so much of an biography of the mistresses, (although quite a bit of time is spent on Madame du Pompadour, who was the mistress of Louis XV for more than 15 years despite her being sexually frigid) but more of a commentary of the art of being a mistress to a king.

Mistresses went to unbelievable lengths to become mistresses, and then even more incredible effort was spent KEEPING the king. For instance, evidence pointed to Madame de Montspan, mistress to Louis XIV, of kidnapping infants to sacrifice in order to make potions and spells to maintain his love. Her garden unearthed hundreds of corpes of babies, but the king didn't want the scandal so he never had her charged with the murders.

What's bad about the book: It's UNBELIEVABLY disorganized. In fact, it was pretty clear to me that that author's editor was on vacation or something. The book could have (should have) been organized chronologically, but instead it jumps centuries and continents in the course of one page. I also could have a job aid to keep all the Louis's and Louise's and Charles and Fredericks's straight.

Anyway, sis......I think you'll be fine reading this book. Just don't show it to your congregation.

:)

1,006

2006-08-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

Thank you, dear readers. I checked my hitcounter today for the first time in several months and it seems that I have picked up a few loyal readers in the past several months. In fact, I have had 1,005 hits in the short time I have started this silly little blog.

I realize that most of my readers are in fact my family (hi sis!), but there are a few of you out there who I don't know so I thank you for tuning in to my hopelessly scattered thoughts about cooking, books, boys and Project Runway.

I will try and focus my attentions on keeping this blog more up to date.

So, here's a teaser.....I'm reading a wicked good book about king's mistresses. Oh la la. We've got sex, beheadings, poisonings....it's got it ALL. More to come this weekend.

An Amendment.

2006-08-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

So, in re-reading my post and getting the tiniest rash of shit from Boyfriend and my sister.....I will acknowledge that PERHAPS I sound a little bitter toward men. (And since I just heard that Boo’s boyfriend is a reader of this site……let me assure Boo’s ex-boyfriend that I didn’t pee on his sofa……that was a joke...)

Dear Readers…..let me assure you, I’m not bitter toward mean. I love men. Boyfriend is a wonderful man. The BEST man. My father is an excellent man. My sister married a good man. I work with some lovely men. A lot of my friends are married to awesome men.

I am, however, bitter about Break-Ups. I’m over bad break-ups and they way men behave during breakups. Here are a few break-up stories from my closest girlfriends.

1. One friend was abandoned at a restaurant during a break-up. Her boyfriend just went to the bathroom and never came back. He called her from a cab and broke up with her while she was receiving her entrée.
2. Another friend received a text message in the middle of the night while she was sleeping that it “just wasn’t working.”
3. Another friend was told by her boyfriend’s *friend* that her boyfriend was moving to New York (already had his apartment and plane ticket) and he hadn’t told her.
4. One friend’s husband left her because he was having an affair. The catch was that he denied having the affair and told her it was over because my friend was “too superficial.”
5. One girlfriend’s boyfriend called her from a bar and notified her that being around the really cute girls in the bar made him realize he wasn’t attracted to her anymore.
6. One girlfriend was forced to break-up with her boyfriend after she walked in to his bedroom and found him receiving a blow job from the neighbor.
7. One friend was broken up with on a Post-It……wait, no, that was Carrie Bradshaw.

Do you see where I’m going? I just don’t understand why these men, who are by all other accounts good, attentive boyfriends, must behave so badly during break-ups. (I know, I know, women behave badly too, but I’m a woman and today I’m representin’.) Is it so far from the realm of possibility to treat the break-up with the same level of respect as the relationship? Is that too much to ask?

I’m frustrated that my girlfriends going through this. I’m tired of seeing my girlfriends become more and more gun shy and more and more reserved in their approach to dating because they have been hurt. I am bummed out that my single girlfriends are fantastic, beautiful women and they are forced to date not-so fantastic men. I’m annoyed because I know A LOT of single, fantastic HOT women, and not one single man to set them up with.

So, no…..not bitter. Just fed up.

another open letter....

2006-08-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

Today’s post is in honor of my friend Boo, who is currently going through the private hell called “Breaking Up with a Live-In Boyfriend Who Informed Her He Wanted To Break Up For a Year.”

Boo and I have been discussing her break-up at length for the past few days…..as girlfriends tend to do…….and we have realized why break-ups seem easier for men than women…..Because men secretly break-up with women WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN THE RELATIONSHIP, but they don’t tell the women they are breaking up.

Seriously, men go through all the emotions associated with the break-up WHILE they are still dating the woman….. and the woman just thinks that he’s going through a rough time so she is really supportive of him…….WHILE HE IS SECRETLY BREAKING UP WITH HER!

Omigod……we have TOTALLY just stumbled on to ground-breaking territory. I feel like I should call Oprah or Dr. Phil or something.

Ladies….let me ask you this? Has a dude ever left you and then acted like nothing was wrong? Has he moved on more quickly that is respectful? Has he dated before YOU think he should be dating? Well, it’s because he probably broke up with you a year ago, but failed to mention it to you. Did he act depressed before you broke up? Did he act angry? Did he act sad while you were still together? Chances are……he was breaking up with you. IN HIS HEAD.

I know! It’s shocking. To address this situation…..I have drafted an Open Letter to All Ex-Boyfriends Who Have Secretly Broken Up With Their Girlfriends And Not Told Them. Ladies, if you need to use this letter in future break-ups. Please do.

Dear Jackass.

You're a dick and you will never do better than me, so suck it.

Get out of my apartment immediately. And take your stanky ass sofas with you. By the way, I pee'd on them the other
night after you told me that it was over and that you wanted to leave me a year ago but didn’t know how to tell me.

Sincerely, The Best Thing You Ever Had.

PS, You’re (insert whatever 3rd grade word you like here, like: “Dumb.” “Ugly.” “Fat.” “Mean.”)

WWKD?

2006-08-04T14:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers, I am coming out of the Music Snob Closet. I am a Kelly Clarkson Fan and my name is Kirsten.

And I didn’t even watch American Idol!!!! I came to this realization all on my own. I adore her and her nose ring and her new haircut and her cute little Texas accent. I love Breakaway. I love Behind These Hazel Eyes. I love Addicted.

Last night, I attended my first Kelly Clarkson concert at Shoreline Amphitheater. I say *first*, because there will be more. I shall celebrate Kelly’s entire body of work and will attend every one of her tours……it was that good. I shall take my unborn children to Kelly and tell them, “Whenever you are faced with indecision or crises, just ask yourself, ‘What Would Kelly Do?' Because Kelly has the answers.”

Case in point.....one could ask Kelly, "Kelly, should I wear my hair up or down at my friend's wedding in 2 weeks b/c I usually wear my hair up?" Kelly's Answer: "Take a chance, take a risk, make a change."

Thank you Kelly, I shall wear my hair DOWN.

Not only does Kelly have the answers…..Kelly has got the pipes. The girl has TALENT. Regardless if you like her music or not……there is no denying that she can sing well and entertain a crowd of pre-teens, teenagers, gay men, parents and some very conspicuous women in their, ahem, mid-30s who were NOT accompanying children to the show.

I don’t know why I like Kelly so much. I’m far too old to relate to her lyrics. I can’t really sing along b/c her range is WAY outta control. But I just find her lovely and refreshing and seemingly down to earth. Even if it’s all the work of her PR flack and she actually parties with Lindsay Lohan every weekend, I think that teenagers need to see a talented woman with a real nose and a real body REALLY singing songs that she obviously cares about (Ashlee Simpson, are you reading this?)

Plus, you just can’t deny that Since You’ve Been Gone is this generation’s I Will Survive.

Feh

2006-08-03T15:14:00.000-07:00

I can't find a good book.

I started A Prayer for Owen Meany. Too religiousy.

I started Pledged. Way too annoying.

I started Auschwitz: A New History. Way too emotional.

I need a summer read, people. Help me out.
(And no, KK, I do NOT want to read My Friend Leonard.)

yummy.

2006-07-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

Wanna easy and super quick dinner recipe? I saw this on Freakgirl and made it last night. I also threw in some sweet cherry tomatoes about 2 minutes before I served. Totally pretty and delish.

I served it with a caprese salad. Took about 15 minutes to make, top.

Enjoy.

"Please sir, can I have some more?"

2006-07-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

Um, Malan from Taiwan, were you trying to be Oliver Twist? Huh. Well-played.

Readers, this season of Project Runway is already displeasing me. Now, I love a good reality TV fight as much as the next girl, but are you trying to tell me that Vincent has more vision, more point of view, more talent than Malan from Taiwan? Granted, Malan from Taiwan is a freak, and his accent is fake and he TOTALLY made up a story about his mother not believing he could be a designer…..but at least his horrid, poop-hued, quilted, nightmare of a dress was born out of a vision that required talent. Vincent’s dress was safe and boring and looked like anything I could pick up off the rack at Nordstrom.

Oh, Nina Garcia……you fickle pickle. First you don’t want “safe and boring” and then you apparently DO want safe and boring.

Here’s who I LOVE: Robert, (who WOULDN’T love a man who designs for Barbie Dolls AND has a sense of humor about it); Michael (his coffee filter dress was fantastic) and Bonnie (just because she is adorable, no other reason).

Here’s who I want to throttle: Jeffrey (grow up already, being cool is NOT THAT IMPORTANT ANYMORE); Keith Michael (Perhaps you should NOT grope Miss USA so inappropriately?) and Kayne (Is he AWARE that he looks exactly like Sid Vicious?).

And Tim Gunn, I missed you. So lovely to have you back in my life.

My true colors

2006-07-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

I picked up this Meme from Bookworm:

1. Movies I rented because the cool people liked them, but I never could finish: Mighty Aphrodite, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Cookie’s Fortune

2. Movies I watched with the cool people but secretly hated: Bottle Rocket, Barton Fink & Blue Velvet

3. Books I started because the cool people like them, but I could never finish: Midnight’s Children, Geek Love & Cryptonomicon (or however it’s spelled)

4. Music I tried to like because the cool people like it, but really it makes me want to puncture my own eardrums to escape the pain of the irritating, cat-mating howling: Miles Davis, The Beta Band & Neil Young

5. Music I secretly sometimes like, but don’t want the cool people to know: Evanescence (along with 14-year-old goth girls everywhere), Linkin Park & The Rent Soundtrack

6. Foods I secretly like, even though the cool people sneer at them: Cherry Jello, Tacos with ground beef (not chicken, not fish, not carne asada…..JUST GROUND BEEF)& Scalloped potatoes from a box

7. “Cool” foods I hate: gorganzola cheese, raw tuna & capers

Happy Birthday Boyfriend!

2006-07-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

It's his 34th. And he is kinda sad about it.

This morning at 3:30 AM, I showered him with love and affection by kicking him in the butt in my sleep and waking him up. But I also got him this. And this. So, he can't complain that much.

And tonight, we shall eat the best chicken parmesan in Noe Valley with our friends. So cheer up and feel better, Camper.

I love you.

REVIEW: The Devil's Teeth

2006-07-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe I am going to die in a violent Great White Shark attack. Doesn’t everyone? No, just me?

I think my irrational fear really took root when I moved to San Francisco and I started hearing about and reading about all the sharks that just chill out on our coastline…..waiting to take a chomp out of me. In fact, when I’m at Stinson beach, I don’t see how pretty our coastline is, or how beautiful the waves are, or how cute the surfer boys are……I see Great White Sharks ……lined up……….looking right at me. And they look hungry.

I have a reason to be worried. Boyfriend surfs. And he tries to convince me that surfing is safer than driving in a car. Some nonsense about the odds of being hit by a car is greater than being eaten by a great white shark. Whatever. I don’t want to hear it. All I know is Boyfriend looks a lot like shark bait when he is sitting out on his board in Bolinas (where Great White Sharks are frequently seen, by the way) and I just don’t need that added stress in my life.

So, it was with sick fascination that I picked up this book about the Great White Shark project on the Farallon islands. The Farallons (pronounced Fair Alons) are chain of islands just a mere 30 miles off the San Francisco coast. The islands are usually socked in with fog, but on an exceptionally clear day, you can see the islands from the Golden Gate bridge….and they do, in fact, resemble big giant devil’s teeth.

Here’s the nutshell: The author is a reporter who becomes obsessed with a team of researchers who live on the island year round to monitor the behavior of the two groups of Great White Shark: the Sisterhood (sharks ranging from 16 to 20 feet long) and the Rat Packers (“smaller sharks” ranging 12-16 feet long). Susan (the author) gets to know the two main researchers on the island, sweet talks them into letting her follow them around for a while, secures herself a yacht to live on for six weeks outside the island (only a handful of people are actually permitted ON the island), straps on a camera and goes on Shark Watch.

Now, Shark Watch includes sitting in a small fishing boat while 16-foot sharks swim aggressively around the boat. Sometimes the sharks attack a seal…..sometime they attack the boat. Wow, sign me up!

What’s really good about the book: The author is a really good writer and you can tell she has done her research. There are plenty of stories about encounters with Great Whites and their feeding habits, their personalities and their preference for surfers as an afternoon snack (Boyfriend, ARE YOU LISTENING?). She provides a lot of history of the island and its previous inhabitants. Plus, if you are familiar with the Bay Area, there is a lot of local flavor to enjoy.

What’s bad about the book: About ¾ of the way through, the book turned into a really sad commentary about how ill prepared the author was to man a borrowed yacht by herself. She admits freely that she lied about her boating experience to the boat’s captain. After bad weather forces her to abandon the boat, which becomes lost at sea for several months, she illegally stays on the island, which eventually costs one of the researchers his job. There’s also a lot of discussion in this book about bird poop, which to be honest…..just doesn’t interest me in the slightest.

Still, if you can get past her arrogance and the disappointing ending…..it’s a fun little read. I enjoyed it, although it will give me nightmares for days.

Review: Breakup Babe: The Novel

2006-07-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

I tend not to buy “chick lit” books. Not because I’m above it or anything (believe me, I have read Bridget Jones Diary and The Devil Wears Prada and enjoyed every delightful page) but I usually think that my friends and I are way smarter and funnier than most of the women in chick lit books, so I usually don’t even bother.

But I picked up this book b/c I was getting on a plane and I needed something silly to keep me interested for 5 hours.

Color me hooked.

It’s not Pulitzer-prize material or anything, but it’s some good stuff, people. Here’s the nutshell……Rachel gets dumped by her boyfriend of 2 years, who just happens to work down the hall from her, and begins to blog about her experience getting over him.

Rachel's experience pretty much includes drinking too much wine, taking a lot of much-needed antidepressants and sleeping with too many inappropriate men.

Sound familiar? Been there, done that? Well, I have. Ok, I only slept with one inappropriate man (shhhh, my sister and Boyfriend read this site). But this book is relate-able. I mean, what woman HASN’T gone on the heartbreak diet after a break-up and thought to herself, “Ok, so I’m possibly going to die hopelessly alone but GODDAMN if my ass doesn’t look good in these size 4 jeans”?

What I liked about this book is that Rachel does move on, she does learn a few things about herself and she never gets preachy or annoying in her break-up process. This book could have easily moved into the “I am Womyn, hear me roar” realm, but she manages to stay humble and humorous at the same time.

UPDATE: In the couple hours that I wrote this review, I got a text from a very close friend that she and her long-term boyfriend just split up and it just breaks my heart.

Boo, if you are reading this, I’m so sorry and we are going to do whatever we can to get you feeling better. I’m putting this book on your required reading list, along with frequent walks in GG park, dinners with the girls and a lot of trips to Sephora. Hang in there, my good friend.

Review: Sea Glass

2006-07-01T14:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just really need to read a book featuring one dimensional characters who don’t invoke any emotion in me at all, but I still care enough about to finish the book. I continually find these characters in Anita Shreve’s books.

I liked The Pilot’s Wife. I didn’t quite get why Oprah loved it so much, but whatever. I really, really liked Fortune’s Rocks, even though I was slightly dismayed I was rooting for a relationship between a 16-year-old girl and a 40-year-old man. Ew. And I thought The Weight of Water was a downright page turner, even though I can’t remember a single thing that happened.

So, my experience reading Anita Shreve books has been quite positive in the past. Sadly, this all came to a screeching halt with Sea Glass. This book could NOT BE more formulaic. Does this sound familiar? About 200 page of character development on six different people who all live near each other. Gee, I wonder if they are going to meet? Yep, they do. One character is trapped in a loveless relationship and another character just had his heart broken. I wonder if they are going to fall in love? Yep, they do. A selfish, very wealthy woman moves next door to a family left destitute by the Great Depression. I wonder if she is going be moved to philanthropy. Yep, she does. All characters in the book unite to fight the injustices to mill workers (the book is set in New Hampshire). Gee, I wonder if any of the main characters, maybe someone we hate and someone we really really love, will get hurt in the ensuing riots between mill owners and union workers? Yep, they do.

Here’s the nutshell: Honora and Bad Husband move to the beach. She collects a bunch of sea glass. He loses everything in the depression and has to start working at the mills. He gets involved (for purely selfish reasons) in the union movement and brings a bunch of union guys home to plan a strike. Hot Union Guy falls in love with Honora. She falls in love with him. There’s a strike. Bad husband and Hot Union Guy die. Oh, and the sea glass represents all the people she met and cared about during her time on the beach. Blah. The End.

Conversations between 2 sisters

2006-06-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

Below is a summary of several conversations between my sister and I over the past week.

Wednesday:

Me: I think I’ll drive 2 hours to your house on Saturday night so you can get out of the house. You need a night out away from the kids.
My sister: Please come! I need a night off! Let's go out to dinner! Let's drink some wine!

Saturday night:

Me: Sigh, going out seems like a lot of work. I kinda just want to stay in and hang out your kids.
My sister: Yeah, I really just want to knit tonight. I am thinking about knitting a shawl.
Me: What's more, I have the new “Everyday Italian” cookbook I kinda want to read. You know the one about family dinners?
My sister: OH! I have been dying to read that one! Break it out!”

Ok, so I have taken some poetic license with our dialogue here, but I think it accurately depicts just how very OLD my sister and I are getting.

We did, however, drink some wine and talk about sex, so there is that.

REVIEW: Garlic and Sapphires

2006-06-20T17:43:00.000-07:00

I give Garlic and Sapphires, by Ruth Reichl, former food critic for both the LA Times and the New York Times and now the editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine, 2 solid thumbs up. The author writes of her tenure at the New York Times when she was forced to dine about town in costume under false names in an attempt to receive unbiased service from chefs and their staff.

When I first picked up the book, I was a little leery. I mean, how interesting can it be to read a review for restaurants in New York City, when I don’t live in New York City? Well, Reichl proves to be a great story teller, as well as critic. The story follows Reichl as she moves from LA to New York with her husband and young son and creates her alter egos (including Miriam, a mirror image of her mother who sends every entrée back until it’s perfect). During the course of 4-5 years, she falls in love with New York again, loses a good friend to cancer and agonizes over glorifying the “$100 meal,” before making the realization that her alter egos were affecting her relationship with her husband, her child and, ultimately, to food.

I highly recommend this book if you enjoy food or restaurants or New York or all three. Also, an added bonus is that Reichl has published her own favorite go-to recipes. I am going to try her roasted chicken immediately.

An open letter to Britney Spears' Best Friend

2006-06-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Best Friend of Britney Spears (BFOBS)

First off, let me state that I know your job is hard and I don’t envy you. She’s tough. First there was the whole unfortunate cheating on Sweet Justin debacle, then there was the whole “Madonna is my best friend, not you” incident, THEN there was the time she made you wear a pink terrycloth tracksuit at her bachelorette party with the word “MAID” on it, like you are her personal servant or something……..and I won’t even start on Kevin because I know that you are tired of him trying to get in your pants and it’s a bit of a sticky subject.

Now, I realize you are tired, and I would be too if I had your daily routine of ensuring that: 1) she is at least semi-dressed when she leaves the house, 2) she is always within walking distance of a 711 so that when she and KFed have ANOTHER argument about the Las Vegas hookers who keep dropping by during Sean P’s naps, she has an inexhaustible supply of Doritos and Big Gulps on hand, 3) Sean P is always safely secured in his car seat and high chair (good idea hiring that Manny, by the way. It’s always best to admit to your own limitations).

But really. Matt Lauer. Was at her house. Matt FREAKIN’ Lauer was at her house and you didn’t perform a major intervention when you saw her? Now here, BFOBS, you have completely fallen down on the job.

I know you were probably too busy trying to move all of Kevin’s belongings upstairs from the basement to make it looks like they were actually still speaking to each other, so I have created a small check list of To-Do’s the next time Matt comes to the door.

1. Britney’s fake hair should appear to have been washed within the last week.
2. Britney’s face should appear to have been washed within the last week.
3. Britney should not be chewing gum.
4. Britney’s fake lashes should not resemble an attack tarantula.
5. Britney should not be wearing a skirt so short she is flashing Matt.
6. Britney’s engorged breasts should not be trying to escape the confines of a shirt that she wore 5 years ago.
7. Britney should not be wearing platform Payless ShoeSource slides.
8. Britney should sit up straight.
9. Britney should know how pregnant she is when asked.
10. Britney should not say “I like money.” Ever.

I think might help. I have some other suggestions, mostly to do with possibly getting her high school diploma, moving out of LA to raise her children, and leaving that rat bastard KFed, but for the time being, let’s stick to the above, because I know you have your hands full.

Best,

Kirsten

Whew. I’m 34.

2006-06-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

Birthday bash was last night and I’m still reeling from the amount of wine I drank on a fairly empty stomach. Perhaps 34 will be the year that I learn how to drink without getting hammered?

Speaking of learning, here is a list of things I learned in my 33rd year:

1. I learned that dating is supposed to be fun, not hard.
2. I learned what loving the right person feels like.
3. I learned what being loved by the right person feels like.
4. I learned how cook a mean chicken parmesan and chicken marsala.
5. I learned that I really enjoy cooking after all.
6. I learned that I don’t have to be “passionate” about my career, that I can just “like my job.”
7. I learned that eating less and working out more……really works. Huh.
8. I learned that I had an Ebay addiction.
9. I learned that I do indeed want kids.
10. I learned that my life became very clear when I met Boyfriend.

Get thee to the gyno

2006-06-09T12:50:00.000-07:00

As my 34th birthday ominously looms, I'm too old for this, but speaking as a woman who has had many painful procedures as a result of HPV, I implore everyone with a daughter to start talking about this with their gynocologists.

Graceful

2006-06-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

I would like to either study whatever philosophy this man studies.....or I would like whatever drug he is on.

Either way, for a man who watched his son be murdered, I admire his spirit.

Pure unadulterated evil

2006-06-07T16:33:00.000-07:00

It is wrong that I wish Anne Coulter physical harm? Can I even write that?

Although, if she can write this fucking bullshit, I think I should be allowed to say that I wish her an afterlife full of painful, burning hell.

it's been a while

2006-06-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry so incommunicado lately, but:

1) I was on vacation to the Carolinas visiting Boyfriend's family. We had an awesome time; I ate my weight in boiled peanuts (who knew?), I played with Boyfriend's niece, I got a sunburn and I gained 6 pounds. It was lovely.

2)I also am feeling that post-vacation depression. Work is uninspired. I can't find a book to read. All my favoriate TV shows have wrapped for the season. My 34th birthday is coming up and I feel like I have 34 new grey hair and wrinkles. I feel blech.

HOWEVER! Lost Finale? What was UP with that huge Homer Simpson foot statue? And what? John Locke? CANNOT BE DEAD. I will go on record right here and right now that I will stop watching this show if they have killed my absolute favorite character. JJ Abrams? Do you hear me? I will stop watching AND I will campaign that all my friends should stop watching as well. Oh, and Desmond rocks my world. I love him.

Ok, that's all.

Oh, and this is my new favorite website.

She’s ready for her close-up

2006-05-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

This weekend Boyfriend and I drove a couple hours to see my niece in her annual spring dance recital. I have two nieces, one is 7 and the other is 2. I don’t believe I’m exaggerating when I state that they are the most intelligent and gorgeous children on the planet. They really are. I think they might be, like, prodigals or something.

Anyway, every spring their dance company puts on “Broadway in the Foothills” and the kids perform dance and song numbers from Broadway shows. When Niece #1 started dance lessons a few years ago, she had a tiny, yet adorable, walk-on part in the Nutcracker and every year her adoring fans (her parents, her grandparents and her aunts and uncles) watch her parts get just a little bit bigger and a little bit more difficult.

This year, she OWNED the show. She was in four numbers: “Steam Heat” from Fosse (her longest number and she got to rock a fancy fedora hat), “Uptown Girl” from Stepping Out (she had to touch a boy which she handled with the utmost professionalism), “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” from Lyon King (a catchy little tune that I have been singing for about 3 days now) and a song from Newsies that I can’t remember right now. She was the littlest Newsie on stage and almost got stepped on a few times, but she held her own because she is a pro.

There is something very thrilling about watching a child you love on stage, in costume, bathed in stage lights. The pride washes over me and I don’t see anyone else on stage except her. I get a little teary just thinking about it.

My sister told me after the show that Miss Paula (the dance instructor) was going to cast Niece #1 as a soloist for the Nutcracker in December because she is THAT GOOD, people. Get ready. We’ll be seeing her name in lights very soon.

And she better remember to thank me when she wins that first Tony Award.

The lesser of two evils

2006-05-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

Ew. Harold and Tiffani are the final two? These are my choices for Top Chef? I give up. Harold is a whiny baby and Tiffani is…..gross. She’s just plain gross.

I don’t fell compelled in the slightest to watch the finale now. The only reason I will tune in is to see Gail Simmons' fabulous wardrobe. Her stylist is a genius at the “full figure” and I want her phone number immediately.

"We got caught in a net."

2006-05-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, so now that I have quiet 30-minute morning commute to reflect on my life and the purpose of it……I had a LOT of time this morning to contemplate last night’s episode of Lost.

- Where did Locke gimp off to at the end of the episode with such purpose? He was headed in the opposite direction of the funeral for Libby and Ana Lucia?

- Did Walt ever live in England? Because Boyfriend and I think that Mr. Ekko was talking about Walt when he was telling Michael about the boy who killed his sister’s dog. True, we don’t know if Walt has a sister, but we didn’t know that Jack had a sister until last week either.

- How much of a freakin’ stud is Sayid for figuring out that Michael was a big fat liar? I HEART him, even though I don’t really like his beard right now?

- So, is Walt all into astral projection or something? Because the freaky be-yotch was asking Michael if he ever “saw” Walt in places where he wasn’t supposed to be?

- How many of you think that Desmond is on the boat?

- Who has the list of names figured out? I can’t for the life of me figure out what Hurley, Jack, Kate and Sawyer have in common?

- How many of you noticed how much older Walt looked? I mean, it must be a year of filming since his last scene? That’s going to be tough to keep Walt 8 years old, or however old he really is. Maybe they’ll write it in to the story…..like the island makes children grow faster.

I can’t believe that next week is the finale! AND, we’ll be flying in to North Carolina so I can meet Boyfriend’s dad and step-mom. Something tells me that they aren’t going to respond too kindly to me saying, “HI! Nice to meet you, um, where’s your TV, b/c it’s the Lost Finale and I can’t really wait an entire week to get back to my TIVO to figure out what happened b/c someone like KK or Kenneth or Timm or Denise is going to call me and say ‘omigod can you believe what happened’ and they are going to spoil it for me so I hope you understand that I have to excuse myself for 2 hours, won’t you? Thanks.”

my love knows no bounds

2006-05-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

I have waxed poetic about my love for Paula Deen before. I heart her. And I heart her sons. More importantly, I heart her son's chili.

I made this recipe for the 2nd time last night and it's freakin' GOOD ya'll. Except I used 2 cans of black beans (no kidney beans) and I omitted the celery. OH, and I included a can of Coke, a little tip I picked up from my friend's husband Brian. I don't know what it does, but Coke makes everything in the world right.

It's super easy and makes enough to feed about 28 people.

I wonder if he'll stop dyeing his hair now

2006-05-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Apparently Sir Paul and Heather are caput. And they are blaming the media for the split. I'm sure it had nothing to do with that fact that she is younger than his children.

The Face of the Nation

2006-05-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

I guess that's that.

2006-05-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

The Survivor Finale was last night. I remember very little of the evening due to the entire bottle of wine that I consumed which has given me a headache the size of Texas.

But here are the basics: Cirie didn't win. Aras did. Danielle is a female version of a tool. Terry is bitter. Shane was wearing a peasant blouse that I'm assuming he borrowed from Sally. And Courtney the Fire Dancer apparently removed the knife of betrayal from her back and cast it into a pool of peace and love and forgiveness or something retarded like that.

Blah. I'm sure I'll watch the new season, b/c I'm weak and I can't seem to stop, but I'll complain the whole time and I'll hate everyone.

Ginger Spice is a mom

2006-05-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

Who knew? And more accurately, who cares?

But congrats. And it probably sucks that the press is having a field day with you apparently getting knocked up during a brief affair with a drug addict.

An Ode to my Boyfriend

2006-05-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend is so lovely. He’s been laid up in our 1-bedroom apartment for almost 3 weeks after foot surgery and he has really only been mopey once or twice. He has been particularly sweet the past few days in helping my buy a car, so I have composed the following Thank You Note to him.

Boyfriend,

Thank you for avoiding the Triple Word Score.

Thank you for telling me that my nieces are the most adorable girls in the world and meaning it.

Thank you for hiring a housecleaner.

Thank you for ordering Burmese take-out when you know I don’t want to cook.

Thank you for watching The Real Housewives of Orange County with me.

Thank you for actually contributing catty comments while watching The Real Housewives of Orange County with me.

Thank you for not complaining TOO loud that I stopped buying Coke Zero after I decided you were drinking too much soda.

Thank you for recycling the Diet Dr. Pepper bottles that you buy when I’m not around before I get home.

Thank you for buying new jeans when I informed you that your old jeans were too short.

Thank you for listening to me fret and worry and kvetch about money, housing prices, my job, my gramma and just about everything else.

Thank you for always reminding me where we are parked.

“Thank you India.

Thank you providence.

Thank you disillusionment”

oh, for god's sake

2006-05-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

Bush's proudest moment in office.

YIKES

2006-05-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't been reading too much about this, because, frankly, I don't care.

But.......he's "relieving" himself by tube?

Does ANYONE care about this?

IPOD-induced memories

2006-05-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

Since I can’t seem to think of much to say these days that doesn’t involve reality TV, I’m borrowing from someone far more witty and original than I. Dooce put her IPOD on shuffle the other day and wrote about the first 10 songs that popped up. Here is my less witty variation on the same theme.

Luka, by Suzanne Vega: I remember the first time I heard this song, I thought it was the dumbest song I ever heard. I was about 17 and I was semi-mentally retarded, which most 17-year-old girls are. I believe I said something like, “What the hell kind of name is Luka, and why do I care if she lives on the 2nd floor?” before I put in my trusty New Order tape. These days, however, I find Suzanne Vega’s voice so beautiful and Luka’s story is so touching and mysterious (do we know if Luka is a battered adult or child? Being beaten by a parent or a husband?), that I list it as one of my favorites.

The Strangest Party, INXS: Um, has anyone ever heard of this song before?. It’s on the Greatest Hits Album and I had never heard it before. Is this a bonus track or something? This song is so lame and over-produced that I can’t even really hear Michael Hutchence’ voice. I think I must fast forward.

Don’t Change, INXS: Ok, so much for “shuffle.” Another INXS song. But it’s ok, because this is one of my FAVORITE INXS songs from the Shabooh Shabah album. This song was pre-Listen Like Thieves so they were still pretty unknown. I heard this album for the first time at Deanna’s house when I was probably 15. Her sister Shannon was listening to it and since I thought Shannon was, like, the coolest person EVER, I bought the tape and wore it out. This song is fantastic. The way he sings, “Things have been dark for too long” makes me love him all over again, even though he has been dead for really long time.

Possession, Sarah McLachlan: Oh god, I love this song. I’m not sure I believe Sarah’s unwavering story that the lyrics to this song were entirely written by a man that was stalking her. I mean, that stalker would have to be one HELL of a writer, but whatever, I’ll forgive her anything because this song is fantastic. It’s even better live, but this is the version from Fumbling Toward Ecstasy. This CD was pretty much the soundtrack of my sophomore year in college. I think I had three versions, one for my car, one for my room in my apartment and one for my walkman for school. I was never without Sarah. Hmmmm, maybe I was the one stalking her……

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, Rattle and Hum live version: I’m on a pretty good roll here. This is another oldie but goodie. I bought the Rattle and Hum soundtrack with Kelly my senior year of high school. I was still in the semi-mentally retarded phase of my life, so I’m pretty sure I was wearing all black and not talking to my mother for some reason. But at least I had the good sense to recognize that adding the Voices of Freedom gospel choir to a song only adds to its listen-ability. I get sad when I listen to this album b/c I remember how great U2 used to be before Bono became the media whore that he is today. Or maybe he was a media whore in 1988 too, but I was just too retarded to know it.

Need you Tonight, INXS: WHAT THE HELL? What is going on with all the INXS? So, this video was the first time I really understood what a sexy bitch Michael Hutchence was. I got a tingly feeling “down there” the first time I saw him in those tight black pants. It was this song, or more accurately, this video that launched a period of my life I like to refer to as “Kirsten’s INXS Invasion”. If it wasn’t INXS, I wasn’t listening to it. The INXS Invasion lasted pretty much until I discovered that there a lot of sexy bitches at my high school that I could obsess over who might actually talk back to me on the quad. Not that any of them did, but a girl could (and did) dream.

Pretty Piece of Flesh, One Inch Punch: I have no idea who these guys are, but this song was on the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. It has an awesome bass line. I listen to this song at the gym all the time on the treadmill because it pumps me up. Oh that’s right…..I said “pump.”

Hotel California, The Eagles: Yes. I like the Eagles. Shoot me. And I love this song. This song reminds me the trips I would take to Palo Alto to see my sister. I would roll up all the windows and attempt to harmonize with Don Henley. You do it too. Don’t lie.

I Love Rock and Roll, Joan Jett: Do I need to even say it? Because you know you want to belt it out: “And has was with me, YEAH, me……” You know she was only about 17 when she wrote this lovely ballad about picking up a boy in a bar and taking him home for a one night stand? SO ladylike.

Testosterone, Bush: I bought this album, well, pretty much because Gavin Rossdale is really pretty. But, I’ll be honest…..Bush SUCKS. I mean, is he really singing about being “big into war” and being a “big old whore” just because it rhymes? Oh Gavin. Just shut up and have lots of pretty kids with Gwen. And try to talk her into less make-up. Because you can’t possibly like her wearing all that shit on her face. Right?

Must See TV

2006-05-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend and I caught up on Top Chef and Survivor last night, and I must say, I was not happy with either show’s ending.

On Top Chef, I have been rooting for Leann since Quickfire Challenge 1. She has integrity. She has a sense of humor. She has leadership skills. She has been pleasant and supportive to all the other competitors. AND she can cook. So, please tell me, in the name of all that is just and right…..WHY on earth Tiffani is in the final 3? Girlfriend is just downright UNPLEASANT in every sense of the word. And I really wish she would stop wearing that pink polo with popped collar.

And now on to Survivor. I think I might get tarred and feathered for this, but I might be one of the only people in America who actually likes Shane. I find him quite amusing. I find his emotion for his son very touching and genuine. His friendship with Cirie is very supportive.

That said, he’s really crazy, inappropriate and annoying. Therefore, everyone should WANT to take him to the Final 2. Everyone would win against him. I can’t figure out the game these people are playing.

But I will miss Shane’s comments like: “She is one loopy broad," in reference to Courtney, the “fire dancer.” I mean, who SAYS that?

Lost: SPOILERS

2006-05-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead…..is all I have to say. RIP Ana Lucia, you freakin’ drunk driver.

Last night’s Lost was excellent. FINALLY, some forward movement in the story!

Here’s what I think, and it’s a fairly obvious conclusion: Michael was sent back to camp to draw the Losties to the Others, in exchange for getting Walt back. I believe that he shot himself in the ARM, not the heart (b/c if you were going to kill yourself, wouldn’t you shoot yourself in the head?) to make it appear like Henry escaped, got the gun and shot Ana Lucia, Libby and Michael.

And I don’t think that Libby is dead. I think she will wake up just in time to tell Hurley that it’s all a set up.

And clearly Jack’s dad is a bigger force in this story than we had previously thought. Wouldn’t surprise me if somehow, Claire ends up being Jack’s sister or something.

Thoughts

Project Blog Re-Scope

2006-05-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Ten years ago I sold my car in an effort to respect the planet. (Ok, I give! I HAD to sell my car because parking in San Francisco was driving me to drink. More than I already did at the age of 24.) I take my role as an environmentalist fairly seriously…..I walk to work when it’s sunny and I take public transportation when it’s raining. I take the train to visit family, rather than renting a car.

I have enjoyed not driving immensely. There is something to VERY Sex and the City-ish in meeting my coworkers at the bar downstairs, knocking back a couple mojitos and then hopping in a cab together to our respective corners of the city.

But I have recently reached my breaking point with public transportation. I currently spend 2.5 hours a day on a bus. Do you know what I can do in 2.5 hours? Think about what you can accomplish in 2.5 hours and then multiply it by two, because I’m really good at multi-tasking. I, along with Boyfriend, decided that it was time for me to buy a car.

I’m sure, dear reader, you are asking why I am telling you this. Because, I will no longer have 2.5 hours a day for pleasure reading. Therefore, the purpose of this blog is null and void. I’m sure all 8 of you are disappointed.

I will still be posting frequently, just not always about books. This actually opens the door for me to discuss my love of Lost, my nieces, the annoying hair that grows out of my right cheek and any reality TV show that I’m currently addicted to. Right now, that happens to be Top Chef.

I am feeling quite conflicted about buying a car and being a drone who sits in traffic by herself every day, singing off-key to Kelly Clarkson. I feel bad that I’m contributing to smog and noise pollution and the diminishing ozone. However, as my coworker brilliantly stated: “What has the ozone ever done for me, except give me a sunburn.”

Project Blog Re-Scope

2006-05-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

REVIEW: Neither Here Nor There

2006-04-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

One of these days I'll get around to reviewing In an Sunburned Country, by Bill Bryson, because it's one of my favorite books for a lot of reasons. But today I shall discuss Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe, by the same author.

If you have ever read Bill Bryson's stuff, you realize that his travel books are not so much descriptions of the places he visits, but about his experiences with the people there, which is really a better way to write a travel book, if you ask me. Which you didn't, but I give my opinion freely.

Also, when I think about my own travels through Europe with my college Besty....we'll call her "Teeny".....I don't remember too many details about the Mozartplatz in Salzburg or the Spanish Steps in Rome. My lasting memories from our travels were more about the people we met along the way.

For instance, I have fond memories of Peter and Peter, two engineers traveling in Munich for work from Hamburg. Peter and Peter spend a long evening with us at a beerhall and after consuming vast amounts of sausages and biers with us, took pictures of Teeny as she danced on a table to a polka-inspired rendition of "Sweet Caroline." Even though I remember little of the evening past the dancing, Peter and Peter ensured our safe return to our hotel without trying to get in our pants, for which I am eternally grateful.

I also remember quite clearly the afternoon in Rome when Teeny, her mother and myself found ourselves inadvertently sharing a traditional Easter dinner with a Roman family at their family restaurant. We were unable to find a restaurant that was open and Patricia, the restaurant's hostess, took pity on us and set up a table for us next to the kid's table. The sun was setting, it was warm, the family was gracious, and it was the most amazing meal I ate in Europe. And for some reason that is still unclear to us, the family gave us a standing ovation as we left.

In this book, Bryson drinks his way through Oslo to Istanbul and records his experiences with cranky hoteliers and stinky bus passengers along the way. My favorite chapters were his accounts of seeing the northern lights in Oslo and trying not to get killed by Vespa drivers in Rome.

If you have spent any time traveling alone in Europe (KK, you will love it), I highly suggest this book.